Page 84 of Splintered Hearts

“Why?”

“It’s all I’m good for.”

“That’s not true. Like, at all.” Noah’s so much fun just to be around.

“Then why don’t you want me, Jamie?”

Guilt chews at my stomach. “That’s not what I’m doing.” It’s not... right? We have fun doing a bunch of random shit. We’re friends. “We’re friends, Noah. I wouldn’t use you like that.”

His eyes go far away, looking beyond me. “Some people are relationship people and some people are hookup people. I am a hookup person.” There’s zero light in his voice.

“That’s not true.” Whoever it ends up being, Noah will make them so happy. It isn’t me, though. I don’t have the emotional bandwidth. “Did he drink out of this?”

“No, just the wine.” Noah’s quiet as I take a sip of water. I want to go back home, take my painkillers, and let the soft hum of medicated numbness take my pain and thoughts away.

Noah chews his bottom lip before he looks up, meeting my eyes. “I have a secret to tell you.”

“What’s that?”

Leaning forward a little, his green eyes shine. How did that man just walk away? He smiles wide and I can’t help but offer my own, watching the wide stretch of his mouth. “I like being friends with you.” Noah whispers. “We don’t have to mess around. I just enjoy being around you.” Noah pulls back, putting his hand over his mouth like he said something scandalous.

Out of everything he could have said, that wasn’t what I expected. “You do?”

Nodding, Noah looks at his plate. Taking a bite, he groans, the sound going right to my dick.Noah likes being around me.“Oh my god. This, right here. It’s worth everything that’s happenedtonight. So good. What kind of loser skips out on food this good?”

“The same kind of loser who ditches a gorgeous man at dinner.” Noah stops eating as the words slip out of my mouth. Heat burns my ears. It’s not like he doesn’t know I find him attractive, but saying it like that...

A lazy smile spreads on his face as Noah continues eating. It’s quiet but not uncomfortable as we finish. “Can I get you two anything else?”

“Can I get a box please?” Nodding, the waitress leaves. “You didn’t even touch the chicken and rice.”

“I know.” Drinking the rest of the water, I take him in. In another life this could be real. In another life we could be on a real date. But Noah doesn’t know me, not really. I’m ugly and twisted in ways I desperately want to hide. Tonight, though, is not about me. It’s about Noah.

“I love that shirt, by the way. You look really good tonight.” The tight black tank top stops right above his navel, the taught lines of his stomach a delicious path for me to paint my tongue over.

A soft smile spreads on his face and he touches the fabric of the black top. Noah’s lips purse as he looks down. “You don’t think it’s to feminine?”

“Too feminine? It’s clothing. Clothing doesn’t have a gender. You look good. I like your makeup too. Bri would be proud.” Noah’s eyes don’t leave mine for a moment, then he blinks down at the nearly empty plate.

“Thank you.” Noah looks at the box of food I have. “What are you doing with that?”

“I have someone to give it to.” Noah’s brows pinch. I shrug. It’s not like I’m eating it, I just wish I could do more. “I’m sorry you had a bad date.”

“What bad date?” Noah smiles, his shining eyes lifting tomine. “I’m having a really great night.” Our waitress comes back and puts the billfold down. “I’m afraid to look at the bill.”

“Then don’t,” she says, sliding my card back to me. “It’s paid for.” Grabbing the receipt, I give her a generous tip for all the bullshit today and for being kind to Noah. When I hand her the receipt back her eyes widen a touch. “Ah, thank you. You two have a great night. I’d say sorry about your date, but uh, you seem to have made out just fine.”

I love September nights where I live. The August heat is cooling off and welcoming the cool air slowly. My skin is on fire and all I want to do is lie down.

“I can call us a ride,” Noah suggests.

“No!” I snap, and his grip tightens on my arm. “Sorry, no. I’ll be okay. It’s a nice night.” And a short walk. I can make it, but running down here earlier had not been smart.

“You sure?”

I nod, trying to push down the webs of fear spreading in my lungs and making it hard to breathe. “I’m okay, uh...” Okay, just calm down, it’s not like he’s forcing me into one. He just mentioned it because he’s a normal sane person, and that’s a normal sane thing to ask. Just breathe. “When we get back, can I sleep with you tonight?”

“With the heating pad?” he asks.

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