Page 164 of Splintered Hearts

“Hey.” Bri grabs my hands. “I can’t even imagine what you went through that night.” Her eyes are warm on me. “After was hard enough, but being in that car. Seeing her.” She shakes her head. “I can’t even imagine how heavy that’s weighed on you.” She rubs my hands with her thumbs, and my vision clouds.

“I just wanted to bring her home. She was so drunk. I was afraid someone would take advantage of her. I just wanted to bring her home.” She squeezes my hands and every piece of glass I’ve been patching up with glue shatters. “I wish. I wish—”

“Hey.” She pulls me against her as I lose my shit. It’s embarrassing, but kind of feels good. “I know. I know. We all wish things were different.” She holds me. “There’s nothing we can do now except live with it. You have a family, Jamie, stop acting like you don’t.” After a moment I slip out of her embrace taking deep, gulping breaths. I feel lighter, but worse at the same time.

Luci had been my first real experience of what it meant to love someone and be loved by someone. With Noah, it’s real and deep in a way I never thought possible. If this was the way Brianna had felt...

Shame clutches me. I look down at the bag wondering whether Mark would act the same way if something happened to Noah. I imagine it and it makes me fucking sick. “I’m so sorry Brianna.”

“I know you are.” She sniffs, rubbing her nose, the teddy-bear nose not smudging one bit.

I pick up the bag, handing it to her. “If you want to come over and go through the attic you can.”

Confused, she opens the bag and looks into it. “Jamie?” She laughs, pulling the strawberry out of the tissue paper. I’d won it for Luci at a fair. She wanted that thing so damn bad, and I’d spent way to much money trying to win something I probably could have bought for five bucks in a store.

It doesn’t belong to me, though, it never did.

“Really?” I nod, watching her bury her face into the plushie and snap back with wide eyes. “What... what’s that?”

“In the bag, Bri.”

Stuffing her hand inside the bag, she pulls out an object wrapped in tissue paper and slowly opens it, choking back a sob. She holds the bottle of perfume that Luci had used religiously every day like it’s a fragile newborn. It had been discontinued years ago but I found this bottle while going through her things in the attic this week. “Jamie—” Dropping the bottle on the bed, she folds into herself, crying.

I move closer, taking her in my arms and soothing her as she comes undone. “I’m so fucking sorry, Bri.” I let her cry, and maybe I cry too.

After a bit she sniffles and pulls back, pressing the heels of her palms to her eyes. Smiling at her, I can’t help but laugh. “What could possibly be so fucking funny right now, jackass?”

“Nothing.” I smooth a tear away. “Your little bear nose is still there. I thought you’d snot it off.”

She slaps me. “My makeup wouldn’t fucking dare.” She wipes at her cheeks, not disturbing the fake white freckles along her nose.

“It’s the only bottle I found.” She stands and spritzes a tiny squirt onto her clothes before carefully placing it back in the bag. Sitting back down, she places Luci’s pillow back before grabbing the strawberry plushie I’d sprayed a tiny bit on. Her eyes blowwide. “What?”

“You didn’t jizz on this did you?” I push her playfully on the bed. She laughs, sticking her tongue out. Laughter eases out of us both and it feels so much like freedom. “So, what are we going to do about the best thing that ever happened to you?”

Noah.

“He needs space.”

She nods. “He’s good for you.”

Noah is more than good for me. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. “I just need to work on being good for him too.” She squeezes my bicep. Getting up, she grabs the perfume, setting it on Luci’s dresser with the other makeup and lotions.

“I know you’ll get him back. He loves you very much.”

I’m not so sure of that, but I’m not going to stop trying.

Noah fought for me.

Now it’s time for someone to fight for him.

Forty Two

Jamie

“I think he’s trying to kill you with his eyeballs,” Bri whispers, sitting next to me at the table. Hunter and my mother are engrossed in talking about Hunter’s new job. I know Lia’s the reason Hunter even went into social work.

While he’s busy talking to my mom his boyfriend’s eyes haven’t left me since we sat down. I’m trying my best to ignore it. “Want me to fight him?” Bri whispers.

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