Page 148 of Splintered Hearts

The only thing I can ever give Noah is pain, like everyone else in my life. All I do is hurt people. I’m worthless. How did I even think I could be anything? I’m the worst thing to happen to anyone.

No. No fucking way am I doing this again.

I’m not hurting another person I love.

Thirty Six

Noah

Seriously, where the hell is he?

When I woke up to an empty bed I’m a little ashamed to admit that old insecurities started to get real fucking loud. It’s been hours and Jamie still isn’t back. No note, and he’s not answering his phone.

Maybe he’s visiting someone. This is a town he knows well, so maybe that’s it and he’s lost track of time. I know he’s not in a car. The ride over here was not that great and I can’t see him just getting into a car with a stranger let alone driving one himself.

So where the fuck is he?

My answer comes a second later when the door opens. “There you are!” Jamie barely looks at me, shutting the door a little hard.

Okay . . .

“Um. Where have you been?”

“Walk,” he grunts, walking past me and ignoring my open arms.

Okay . . .

“I packed our stuff. I figure we should head out soon.” Unfortunately. I just want to live in the bliss from the night before. Last night altered my fucking brain chemistry. I won’t get the image of Jamie underneath me out of my head for the rest of my life. The way he looked. The way he felt. It was pure magic.

As he disappears upstairs my heart starts to squeeze in mychest. On edge, I finish grabbing our things. Last night I fell asleep wrapped in Jamie’s arms, playing what we’d just done over and over again in my mind. I’ve topped before but that, that was indescribable.

The way he felt, the pliable way he melted underneath me. The looks, the words, the sounds. Everything! Afterwards, we watched a show and traded lazy orgasms until far into the morning.

Best night ever.

Footsteps sound upstairs and I look up to see him coming back down, still not looking at me. “You alright, babe?”

“Fine.”

Maybe he’s in pain from walking. “If your ass hurts, that’s normal. If you’re a good boy I’ll give you a tongue massage when we get home.” I wink and smile.

Again, Jamie ignores me.

I swallow, feeling uneasy. “Hey, seriously, are you alright? I can always—”

“I said I’m fine, Noah,” he snaps. Okay, bitchy Jamie. Got it. Maybe he’s not feeling well. Although it has been a while since he’s taken it out on me. “Can we go?” His voice is quieter and I don’t like that, almost as much as the snapping.

While I could walk around on eggshells and wonder what’s going on, I’m not taking his word for it. Something’s wrong. “Hey.” I reach for his bicep but Jamie pulls away from me. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“If I have to tell you one more time that I’m fine I’m going to scream.”

Fine, whatever. Let him be a dick and work out whatever the fuck is bothering him. Clearly, someone needs space. “Understood.”

Jamie bends, taking two of our bags, a grimace flashing over his face. So... pain. Got it. I can handle that. Although Jamieshutting down isn’t like him. We didn’t get much sleep, though. I just need to let him be.

Whatever, maybe we just need to get home. “Got everything?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jamie walks to the door to load up the car.

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