Page 131 of Splintered Hearts

“That was mean.” His voice cracks, and he takes a deep breath. “This hickey.” He jabs at the mark, glaring. “Is from you.” My heart falls to my stomach, watching a tear slip down his cheek before Noah wipes it away. “I know you think I’m easy, and maybe I’m at fault for that. I didn’t fuck that guy, though. Not that you’ll believe me, but fuck you anyway.” Walking around me, he storms off to his room. There’s no way I’m letting this end right here.

Following him, I catch the door as Noah goes into his room before whirling on me. “You know what, you selfish prick? I did try to fuck him.” Drawing in a breath, Noah presses his palms into his eyes. “I tried and I couldn’t even get my dick hard. All night, all I kept thinking about was you. Your stupid face. I kept thinking about the other night and what it meant to me when it means shit to you! I kept thinking about it. Over and over. When I wasn’t thinking about you I was waiting for you to call me or text me. When I wasn’t doing that, I was clicking my stupid phone and looking at my stupid lock screen for the millionth time.”

“Lock screen?” What’s he—

Grabbing the phone from his pocket, he tosses it at me. Catching it in my hands, I click it, seeing the photo I sent the other night. My head resting on the fox plushie.

Noah hadn’t responded.

He’d saved it though. Saved it and made it his lock screen.

“I’m so tired of the mind games.”

Wait. “Mind games?” Forgetting the phone, I glare. “Are you kidding me? You let me fuck you the other night and then kicked me out. You kicked me out with no explanation and haven’t said a word to me. Then last night you went out to find some random guy to fuck! Not telling me what the fuck I did, or why you won’t talk to me! Mind games?” Shaking my head I try to calm a little. “Don’t you dare talk to me about fucking mind games.”

“Stop swearing at me!” The air shifts in the room.

“Noah—”

“We... we can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore.”

“What are you talking about? Do what?” I step closer and Noah stiffens, walking back a step.

Freezing in place, Noah wipes his eyes. Green eyes lift to mine. “Everything.”

“What?”

“You fucked me like I mean something to you while also constantly reminding me you can’t give me more. I’m nothing to you. You don’t want me, but you act like you do. I’ve never—” His breath shudders on an inhale. His eyes shoot to the ceiling, blinking.

“Never what?”

“I’ve never felt like this with anyone. Never. You treat me like I matter. Like I mean something.” His chin wobbles and I hate myself just a little more. All I want to do is hug him, hold him.

I caused all this pain and for what?

“I’m done, Jamie.”

“What?”

“I’m done letting people treat me like all I’m good for is sex. It hurts so much, but when you do it, it hurts the most. This means nothing to you while it means absolutely everything to me.” Surprise hits Noah’s eyes at his confession.

Standing there frozen, my mind’s closing in around me, but the truth is clear at the center of it.

I’m in love with Noah.

That’s too much right now, though. The first time I say that to Noah, it won’t be while he’s fighting back tears I’ve caused, filled with the pain I’ve put there.

“I’m tired of this thing we do. The back and forth. I’m tired, and if you can’t see what’s happening here, I’m sad for you. We could be pretty great. I deserve someone to value me. I deserve real happiness with someone who actually cares about me. Who craves me in the way I crave you. I deserve the real thing. Not bits and pieces.”

Swallowing thickly, my eyesight blurs.

There’s nothing more important to me than the man in front of me. Noah has become part of my soul without me even realizing it. Do I deserve him? Hell no. Am I selfish enough to take him anyway?

Yes.

Taking a slow step I reach out carefully, placing my fingers on Noah’s elbow and bringing him slowly toward me. Noah steps closer but braces his hands on my chest, keeping space between us. “I haven’t slept properly since the other night. Whether it’s because I can’t sleep without you or I was so worried I’d hurt you I don’t know.” I catch a stray tear with my thumb and Noah lets out a tiny sob. “I do not deserve you.” Sighing, I crave feeling his body against mine.

His lips.

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