Page 124 of Splintered Hearts

“Holy shit.” I twitch, collapsing forward, careful not to crush him. “Holy fuck.” Kissing the side of his face, I slowly pull out, watching as my cum leaks from his body. I rub him gently, pushing it back inside. Noah’s softening member glistens with his fluid. Leaning down, I take him in my mouth as he jerks slightly with sensitivity.

Dropping down next to him, I roll to my side to lean down and kiss him. Noah’s tongue rolls lazily with my own. This is the best fucking feeling and only confirms what I already know.

I want Noah. For real. No more friends with benefits bullshit. Cupping his face, I watch his eyes, now glassy, but... off. Are those tears? “What’s wrong—”

“We should get cleaned up.” Noah breaks from my hands, getting up and walking out of the room. I watch the space he used to occupy, confused. Getting off the bed, I hear him come back in with a wash cloth, which he hands to me.

“I was getting there. You didn’t have to get it.”

“It’s fine.”

Cleaning myself up, I grab my sweats off the floor, slipping them on while I watch Noah dress. “Want mine?”

Noah looks up then at the shirt in my hands. “No thanks.”

Okay . . .

What’s happening right now? A few minutes ago I felt like I was on cloud fucking nine. “If something’s wrong, just talk to me.”

“I’m just tired. I want to take a nap.”

“Uh...” Okay, maybe that’s it. “No problem.” I can do that. Fuck, I love sleeping with him. Getting into the bed, I look up as Noah watches me. “What?”

“Alone, Jamie.” Swallowing, his jaw clenches. “I meant alone.”

The words take a few minute to fully sink in.

“Oh.” Getting off the bed, my gut twists and heat hugs my eyes. Replaying what just happened over and over in my mind, I can’t comprehend what’s going on. Turning in the doorway I look at Noah, now under the blankets, wanting to join him. “You can talk to me if something’s wrong.”

“I’m fine. Just—”

“Noah.”

“I’m fine.” The words come out strained but the look in his eyes is clear. He needs space to work through whatever it is and I hate that he doesn’t want me here to help him. What have I done?

“Fine. Okay.” Taking a breath, I have to respect him. “If you need me come get me. Please.” Not saying a word, Noah leans up, shutting off the light and dousing the room in shadow.

Shutting the door carefully, I try to figure this shit out. Noah had wanted it... initiated it. Nearly begged for it. That, though, that’s not right. What’s wrong? What have I done? Was it terrible? Did he not really want it? Fuck, does he regret it? Scrubbing my face, I blink back the burn that stings.

How could something so fucking amazing turn so bad? So fucking bad. Getting into bed, I reach instantly for the fox plushie. Before, when I’d get upset I’d reach for the strawberry plushie whose new home seems to be on my dresser. Despite the cloudy fog of my orgasm I feel too wired to sleep.

All I can think about is Noah.

Grabbing my phone, I can’t help pulling up Noah’s contact. Getting into bed, I pull up my camera feature and take a picture of me hugging the fox plushie, hoping to at least get him talkingor cheer him up. I wait, with no response.

Jamie: Please talk to me

Again, no reply. Maybe he just needs space. As much as it bothers me, I’ll have to let it go for now. Noah’s an adult and if he wants to talk to me he will. When has he ever held things back from me?

I have to be fine with this. It’ll be fine.

At least . . . I hope it will be.

Thirty

Noah

The small-town bar is so different to the lively nightclubs I’m used to. While I’d intended to find a hookup, the idea’s losing appeal with every minute. What am I even doing here? Fucking someone else will not fix this shit. I know that. I just need to remind myself there are other people out there. While I’m pissed at Jamie, I’m pissed at myself more.

---