Page 69 of Choosing the right Man

“I loved her as much as I was capable,” he tells me.

“What does that mean?” I ask, confused.

“We were both young and had a lot of growing up to do. We had a whirlwind romance. Times were different then, and she got pregnant. There was no question about it; we were getting married. But most relationships that tie the knot for the sake of a pregnancy don’t last,” he says with sadness. More tears fall, and I simply let them go. I’ll freshen up before I walk down the aisle to commit my life to Mason.

“Why did she leave me?” I ask. My father has always sugarcoated this, but maybe he’ll finally tell me the truth. He pulls me into his arms, not at all worried about wrinkling my dress, and I don’t care. I need to be in my dad’s safe embrace.

“It wasn’t you that she left; it was me,” he assures me. “She was too young to be a mother, and from the moment you exited the safety of her womb, you were a daddy’s girl. I think she resented that a little, resented when you came to me instead of her. She wasn’t mature enough to handle it. It doesn’t make her a bad person. It’s just what it is. I hope you wait a while to have children of your own. I hope you enjoy being young yourself before you’re responsible for another life. A child isn’t a possession. They aren’t dolls to dress up and play with. Children don’t just love you, theyneedyou. Yes, love grows out of that. But a child is very needy, and you have to be mature enough to handle it. You’ll love your children with all of your heart, and when they go through pain, you’ll feel it deeper than they do. Give yourself time before you become a mother, because once you’re a mom, that’s your title role,” he warns.

“Why does anyone want to have kids if it’s so hard?” I ask. “And how could Mom walk away if we love our children that much?” It doesn’t make sense to me.

My dad smiles. “I think your mother loved you very much. I think she wanted to give you the world, and that’s why she walked away. She might’ve been jealous of the bond between you and me, but more importantly, she knew she was too young and inexperienced to give you the love you needed in order to thrive. I think it was a great sacrifice for her to walk away, and I hope you can forgive her for it, because life might not have been perfect for you, and you might have had some stumbling blocks along the way, but youhavebeen blessed.”

There’s a river of tears coming down my face. Audrey is definitely going to have a freak-out. It’s okay, though, becausethis time with my dad is the most beautiful part of my wedding day.

“What if I run away?” I ask, a hitch to my voice.

My dad chuckles. “You’re my only priority in life. If you want to run, I’ll drive the getaway car,” he assures me. “But I think I raised you well enough to not hurt another person like that. So if you don’t want to get married today, tell Mason you’ve changed your mind. I hope you wouldn’t leave him standing at the head of that aisle all alone.”

I laugh as I shake my head. “I’m not talking about running away from Mason. I want to marry him more than anything. I’m afraid I’ll run away from my kids, that I won’t make a good mom.”

Now my dad chuckles. “I’m not at all worried about that. You’re a beautiful soul with so much love to give. You’re going to be a wonderful wife and mother.”

“I love you so much, Dad. I don’t think another man can ever compare to you. I’m sorry I didn’t always see how special you are,” I tell him.

A single tear slips from his eye, and he turns and coughs as he tries to discreetly wipe it away. The gesture makes me smile. He’s composed when he looks back at me.

“I’d give my life for you, Chloe. You’re my little girl.”

We’re silent for several moments, both us thinking back through the years. I’m now twenty-eight, and starting a brand-new journey in life. My dad has given me my foundation, now it’s up to me to figure out how to make it through the rest of my life making my own decisions.

“I’m going to be okay, Dad. I made many mistakes in life, but marrying Mason isn’t one of them.”

“I agree. I can’t wait to take this walk with you, even if I don’t look forward to handing you over. If that preacher asks who gives this woman away, I’m likely going to punch him, though.I’ll never give away my most precious gift in life. I willshareyou with Mason, and I willshareyou with the world, but never will I give you away,” he warns.

His words fill my heart with so much joy I can’t speak, so I just nod. My dad hugs me again and I hold on for a long time. I swear I hear him sniffle, but by the time he lets me go, his face is composed.

“I’ll get out of here so you can fix yourself up,” he tells me.

My dad walks from the room, and I’m sad to see him go. I take a deep breath and wait for Audrey to come back. When she does, and her gasp of horror at seeing me happens, I laugh. She glares at me and immediately gets to work fixing me up.

We finally leave the room. I’m nervous as we walk to the door that will open and take me to Mason. I gladly slide my arm through my dad’s as the music begins inside the church.

We’re at the small white church on the edge of town where my parents wed. While I haven’t seen my mother since I was six years old, I don’t care. I’ll always love her because she’s my mom, and my father’s words earlier have opened my heart even more. Maybe I’ll find her someday, maybe I’ll try to get to know her, find out if she has a family, what she’s done for the past twenty years. I’m sure my father will support me if I choose to do it.

“I better not look at you, Dad,” I whisper, my body trembling next to his. I’m nervous, but so excited too. Mason’s on the other side of these large double doors. He’s waiting for me.

“Did you get in trouble?” he asks.

“Yep, Audrey wasn’t happy with either of us,” I say with a chuckle. Audrey has already walked down the aisle with Rex, leaving only me and Dad standing here. We’re supposed to go now, but I take a few more seconds with Dad.

“Audrey loves me,” he says with confidence, and we both laugh again. “You warned the preacher, right?”

“Yes, Dad, I told him not to say the give-away words.”

“Good.”

It isn’t often my father demands anything, but I love his reason for wanting to keep those words out of the ceremony. My heart soars, knowing how special I am to him. I feel loved and cherished. I love that he isn’t willing to give me away.

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