Page 26 of Choosing the right Man

It wouldn’t take long for a person to be consumed by Mason, to lose every single piece of themselves while he continues to grow stronger. I don’t need that in my life . . . or I try to convince myself I don’t. The sad truth is that I still dream about him. I don’t know when it will end.

Does Mason realize I’m on the line about what to do with my relationship at home? Paul and I still don’t make love very often, but we share meals, and tell each other how our days went. It’s all so... so...Leave it to Beaver,maybe.

Every day I look in the mirror and feel better about myself. My sexual frustration does incredible things for my body. I gaze in the mirror and see two perfect lines on my stomach, see where my hips jut out in a nice curve. That inch I wanted to lose on my thighs is gone, and my calves have shape, making me feel like a million bucks in a pair of heels.

Even with these changes, Paul isn’t interested in lovemaking. I’m beginning to think it really isn’t about me. Yes, we do it sometimes, and yes, he kisses me nearly daily, but it’s that awful obligatory kiss, not a passionate one — not like the one I shared with Mason. That kiss told me exactly how much he wanted me.Thatkiss made me feel as if was the only woman in the world.

We’ve had one more meeting since the last one, and tonight we’re having another. I’m more confident as I step into the blue room. This time I waited, not wanting to be alone with Mason. I know he won’t push me, won’t do anything to make me feel uncomfortable — at least not on purpose.

The thing is, just being in his presence makes me feel things I don’t want to feel. It’s hard enough to be around him in a crowded room. To be alone with him is nearly impossible. I’ve managed to avoid it for quite some time.

He’s already here when I walk in. As if he can sense me as much as I sense him, his head turns, his eyes grasping onto mine. I still for a moment, lost in the hunger of his gaze. It feels like an eternity, though it can’t be more than a second or two.

I put my head down and make my way to my seat. If anyone witnesses the looks between us they’ll assume something is going on. So far I haven’t heard a single peep about our kiss. I think we got away with it. I don’t know if Mason bribed the security guards, or if no one caught anything, not even on camera. Mason says there are no cameras in the gym to protect everyone’s privacy. There certainly are none in the locker rooms, and, of course, none are in his office, but I still worried about it for days.

The meeting begins and I look at him as he speaks, without appearing as if I’m staring. Everyone looks at him. And while his eyes rest on me often, it’s no more than he looks at the others. There’s an intensity when his eyes meet mine that everyone must see. But no one says anything. Maybe it’s all in my head.

I speak a few times and have to stop myself from fidgeting in my seat when all attention is on me. I speak quietly at first, then gain more confidence in what I say as I see the positive looks on people’s faces. They like my contribution. I feel on top of the world.

“That’s great, Chloe,” Dell, a senior VP, says. I give him a dazzling smile.

“I agree, Dell. Chloe, you’ll come on the Vegas trip with us,” Mason says.

My heart stops for at least two seconds. I worry I’m about to have a heart attack. I look at him, feeling the color wash from my face.

“What?” I ask, the word barely a whisper. Maybe I heard wrong.

“This is your idea, and I think you’ve earned the right to present it,” he tells me.

I gulp. There’s a round of applause. No one seems jealous. More importantly, no one appears as if I’m getting a special favor or there’s some sort of devious objective to accompanying Mason on this trip. Still, I’m scared. Not scared of Mason. I’ll never be afraid of him. I’m scared of what I might do if I go on this trip. If I let my defenses down for even a minute.

“How many people are going?” I ask.

Mason rattles off a list of names. I let out the breath I’ve been holding and slowly feel color return to my cheeks. Half a dozen people are coming along. We won’t be alone. I can handle this. I’ll probably not even see him while there. He doesn’t need to be with his employees while they’re pitching ideas. He’ll be off with the other bigwigs getting wined and dined.

I smile. “Thank you, sir. That sounds wonderful,” I say, actually meaning the words.

The meeting breaks up after that, and Mason calls out to me as people begin leaving the room. It’s nearly midnight. Ihadn’t felt the time pass as we sat around the table, ideas flying, excitement brewing. There’s no work tomorrow. He gave us the day off.

As the room empties, I stand at the back of my chair and look longingly at the door. A few people say a couple of more words to Mason, then quickly hightail it from the room. I stay right where I am, gripping the back of the chair with white fingers. I might fall over if I let go.

“Yes, sir?” I finally say when I can speak.

“Sir?” he says with a raised brow. “I sort of like that,” he adds with a glint in his eyes. I glare at him, not amused. I wait to see what he wants.

“You know you’ve earned this trip, right?”

I’m not one hundred percent sure, but from the reactions of the other employees, it seems it hasn’t been given to me because I made out with the boss a month earlier.

“I just had an idea,” I say, hating that I’m so unsure. I want to own my accomplishments. No, I don’t want to make work my entire focus in life, but I appreciate when I do a good job, and I want to work the best I can.

“You had a brilliant idea. This trip has nothing to do with you and me,” he assures me.

I look around the room in panic, my gaze going straight to the door. I listen for a moment, letting out a breath of relief when I hear no one walking nearby.

“Please don’t say things like that in here,” I beg. He smiles.

“Nothing has happened. What are you so worried about?” he asks. Since it’s more than obvious I’m not going to him, he moves from where he stands and comes closer to me. Retreat is the only thing on my mind. But I don’t move.

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