Page 21 of Choosing the right Man

“Nope, not in a long time,” he assures me.

“I don’t know how you walk these woods alone. I know you’re a big guy, but it would freak me out.”

“You used to trek through these woods with me without a single fear,” he points out.

I laugh. “That was before I realized how much danger was out there.”

“You love the cabin, though.”

“I know, but that’s because there’s a door I can run through and lock if I feel danger.”

My dad chuckles. “I never lock the doors.”

“Dad, that’s foolish. You should take your safety seriously.”

He laughs again. “I don’t have much. I don’t need much, but if someone really needs something so bad they feel they have to break in, I’ll give it to them anyway.” He shrugs.

And he’d do exactly that. I wish the rest of the world could be as wonderful as my father. There’d never be any wars, or famine, or coveting. We’d all live peacefully. I feel slightly guilty about the two-hundred-dollar pair of jeans I’m wearing. At least I bought them on sale.

“I love how compassionate you are, Dad. You’ve always made me want to be a better person though I fail at this mission way too often.”

He smiles. “I have vices too, Chloe. No one’s perfect. But I think we’re all better off if we don’t judge others, and this includes ourselves. We can’t be kind and good if we’re always looking for the bad. There’s a reason things happen, and if I leave it up to whoever you believe is out there, I don’t have to let it affect me. I know it’s out of my hands. People are going to be who they are. We’re all shaped from the time we begin forming in the womb, and life teaches us lessons if we pay attention. I’m not afraid of the woods. They’re the safest places on earth. Fear holds us back. Love sets us free.”

Tears sting my eyes as I listen to my dad. He always has a way of making me feel better, not only about life, but about myself. I love him for this... among so many other reasons.

“I know I say it every time I come to visit, but I really do need to get down here more often.”

“You know you’re more than welcome anytime,” he assures me.

“I know, Dad.”

We’re quiet for several minutes because he knows I need to talk to him about something important. He doesn’t rush me,simply allows me to gather my thoughts. He’s always been this way. He knows I’ll talk to him when my thoughts are done spinning in my brain.

“Would you think I’m an awful person if I leave Paul?” I finally ask.

He doesn’t answer right away. He keeps his eyes on the trees in the distance where a family of squirrels chase each other around the sturdy branches. Two babies are trying to keep up with their parents. It’s quite endearing.

“Is he treating you badly?” Dad finally asks. Now it’s my turn to think about the words. My shoulders sag.

“Not exactly. He’s notbadto me. Things have just... changed. He doesn’t seem to want me anymore. I don’t know what happened. We were so in love for several years, and he always made me feel like I was the center of his universe. Now it seems like we never even talk, let alone do anything romantic.”

“Have you spoken to him about it?”

I sigh. “No. I’ve been too afraid to do that, afraid he wants to leave me,” I admit.

“It doesn’t sound like you want to split up,” my dad says. “First of all, there’s nothing you can do that will make me think less of you, whether anyone thinks your actions are right or wrong. No one knows why you’re choosing to decide on major decisions in your life. Second, I think you should talk to Paul. If you have feelings this strong, you need to communicate with each other. You won’t be able to solve anything by blowing things up in your mind.”

A tear falls. “I’m so confused. I don’t know why I’m unhappy.”

My dad scoots his chair a little closer and wraps a big, strong arm around me. I lean against him, letting my head fall against his chest. Taking a few deep breaths, I’m instantly calmer.

“I don’t know what’s going on in your mind or your heart, baby girl, but I do know you’ve always been a gifted child,and you have a beautiful heart. Don’t keep kicking yourself. If you’re unhappy, you have to try to figure out why. It might not have anything to do with Paul. Maybe you aren’t livingyourdreams, maybe there’s something else at work. Don’t give up on yourself.”

“I don’t think I’m doing that, but I don’t know.”

My dad doesn’t respond. We sit and finish our coffee as I take comfort in his embrace. My worries fall farther from the front of my mind. I’m so glad I’ve come here.

“Maybe I just needed to be here,” I say after a little while.

---