Page 26 of Reign of Psychos

She hopped up onto a stool and cracked open a tin of chocolate brownies. “Here, help yourself. You can take two, seeing as how you’re, you know, eating for two now.”

I fixed her with a hard stare while shoving a brownie into my mouth and groaning with delight over the rich chocolate flavor. It was hard to look intimidating while enjoying a food orgasm.

“Michael and me are done,” she admitted eventually.

“What? Why?” I spluttered through a mouthful of cake. “You two were cute together!” Damn, he’d seemed like a nice guy.

“He had a meltdown when he found your preggo test stick and thought it was me. I realized he didn’t see me as a long-term thing, so we argued and then he left.”

“Fuck, Eden, what a douche.” That bastard! How dare he hurt my friend! “Does Declan know?”

She snorted. “No. Michael may be a fucking gobshite but he doesn’t deserve to end up in a shallow grave.”

Eden made a good point. Declan was ridiculously protective of his cousin, and if he thought she was hurting, he’d do anything to make her feel better. Up to and including murdering asshole boyfriends.

“Has Michael gone back to Abernethy?”

“I guess. Not sure.” We sat munching chocolate brownies for a moment while I planned on how to get rid of Michael without causing a murder investigation. A barrel of acid should do the trick. It was one of Torrance’s favorite disposal methods. Pigs were useful, too. They ate literally anything and always left no waste.

Then I looked up to see a lone tear tracking down her cheek and realized she was way more upset than I thought.

“Eden… I’m really not good at the emotional stuff, but do you need a hug?” The thought of dishing out hugs made my skin itch, but I was willing to do what it took to make her feel better.

She wiped her eyes and sniffed loudly. “No, I’ll be fine. I’m just sad it didn’t work out. But plenty more fish in the sea, eh?”

“Um, I guess?”

“Sooo, tell me more about Dario…” From the eager way she leaned forward, she’d guessed something had happened between us. Was she a mind reader?

“How did you know?”

“I didn’t, but I do now,” she snorted. “You fucked him, didn’t you?”

I groaned. “It kinda… happened.”

“Spill the tea, bitch!”

“So I went to his father’s funeral dressed as an old woman.” Eden’s eyes widened and she nearly choked on her coffee. “Why?”

“Because I knew my father might be there. I figured a gunfight at the cemetery would be in poor taste.”

She winced. “OK, fair point. So, you used sex to soothe his emotional pain? Nice one. That’s exactly what I would have done.”

“NO! That’s not what happened!”

“Oh thank god. Graveyard sex is gross.” My eyes narrowed. “Not that I’d know!” From the way she stared down at her plate and clammed up, I wasn’t so sure about that. But I didn’t want to hear about what kinky shit she got up to.

“We met later that night. Talked about my father and what he’s been up to, and then he walked me back to my Airbnb.”

“And you had hot sex?” Her interest in my sex life was concerning, which I told her.

“Hey, I have no boyfriend now, so I’m forced to live vicariously through you. Come on, give me all the deets. Is he good in bed? Does he have a massive…” Her voice trailed off as Aoife appeared in the doorway. I sighed with relief. Never had a 14-year-old’s presence been such a welcome sight.

“Eww, are you talking about penises again?”

“Again?” My head swiveled around to glare at Eden. “You better not have been discussing inappropriate things with my sister around!”

“God no! I Would never!” She leaned closer and whispered, “Ronan had a smallproblem, which he shared with me. The girls may have overheard some of the conversation.” The way sheglared at Aoife suggested they’d been eavesdropping. “Anyway, he’s fine now. Nothing that somespecial lotioncouldn’t cure.”

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