Page 94 of Royally Benevolent

I nodded.

“But… he called me disgusting. This wasafterI went down on him and gave himeverythinghe wanted. I always tried so hard. He refused to touch me or… anything. No kissing. Just told me I was disgusting and that I needed to stop trying to get attention.”

“But you were suffering… and he did that?”

She nodded.

“Odette, you never need to feel like that with me. You’ve offered a few times… and I never expect you to do anything if you are not in the mood. I do not want it unless you are so excited you cannot help yourself,” I said. “It’s not okay what he did. It’s coercive.”

She nodded again, this time more heartily. “I get that… now. However, he messed with my head. And when he left… I wrote a suicide note and was about to take a whole bottle of pills before Rick knocked on my door. I answered it for some reason. He was standing there with Chris on his hip, and he said he felt like something was wrong—that was it. He came to check on me. And then… I couldn’t do it. I thank God for Chris waking everyone up that night and for Rick’s intuition. Because… I wouldn’t be here, I think. But I went to a hospital in Switzerland, got better meds, got a new therapist, and I’ve been much better.I wouldn’t say I am never depressed, but I will say my moods are stable, and I am not a danger to anyone or myself.”

I brushed her cheek. “I am thankful for it. You’re an angel, Odette. The world needs more people with your sweetness and perspective.”

“I feel stupid even saying that. It’s all… heavy. You mustn’t tell anyone, of course. Alexandra worked so hard to bury this and protect my privacy.”

“I struggled after Isla died,” I admitted. “About two months after she died, our boy turned one. Everyone wanted to throw him a party, but I refused. I’ve not thrown him a party since. Isla had big plans for his first birthday. She’d already bought all the presents. And… I….I just couldn’t. I feel guilty because I cannot give him any of that. None of it. It hurts me too much.”

Odette furrowed her brow. “Still?”

“I want to… but I cannot. And planning it… I start, and I fail. I get stuck in this endless, painful loop. When he turns five in September, I promise myself I will be able to celebrate it. It’s his first year in preschool. He has friends to invite. I want him to feel normal.”

Odette smiled sweetly. “That would be nice. I’d be glad to help. I’ve helped plan not one buttworoyal weddings to date, and I fancy myself quite a party planner. If you’re up for it.”

“I would love the help,” I admitted. “I want to not—for once—lie in bed crying all day. It’s funny. The day we lost her was bad. But somehow, the loss hit like bricks when I had to come to terms with the true cost—the loss of all the memories she deserved. Thatwedeserved. I didn’t get out of bed for weeks. Mom moved in. I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t want to shower. I finally got a therapist, got on antidepressants, and have lived better through chemistry. I also take daily meds, if it’s any consolation.”

“Really?” Odette’s face lit up.

“They helped a lot with my social anxiety, too. I’ve always had it, but it got horrendous after Isla died. I was on meds for a while. That’s why when you panicked, I got it.”

“Thank you for just… being there,” Odette said.

“Odette, I’m not just here with you because you’re beautiful. Youare. It’s because I care about you. Your heart is as big as the motherfucking galaxy, and I’m better for knowing you.”

She looked teary-eyed. “That… that means a lot.”

“It’s fucking true, okay? And you don’t have to feel bad. I’ve been very low before. There will be days I struggle. I tell you, knowing you won’t go blab. And you can trust me, okay?”

“I do,” Odette admitted. “Thanks for being okay with me not always being okay. I promise to give you the same.”

PART THREE

INTEGRATION

54

DAYDREAMING

WYATT

“Wyatt! Wyatt Worthington!”

Stephen stood in my office.

“Sir, you’ve been staring out the window for twenty minutes.”

“I’m fine.”

Stephen didn’t buy it. He shouldn’t have. I’d spent every other night in bed with Odette. She was at my place whenever her royal schedule didn’t demand her full attention. I’d been thinking about the sound of her climax this morning on top of me as the morning light barely filtered in. She was an angel. I couldn’t wait to have her again. My only regret was her late arrival and early leaving to avoid Theo. I was about done with that, however. I figured it was time to bite the bullet and tell Theo that Odette was my girlfriend.

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