Page 29 of His Fearless Guy

“We came in to grab the trophy, so those Viper fuckers don’t try to steal it,” he says. “Are you guys in here getting wasted?”

I shake my head as Ryeson nods.

“Um…yeah.” I try to play it off. “We can hide the trophy if you guys want to get back to the dance. They should be announcing who the prom queen is soon.” I look toward Ruby. “You don’t want to miss getting your crown, girl.”

Chase nods. “Yeah, come on, babe. We should get back in there.” He practically rushes her out of the room, and I turn to Ryeson ready to finish what we started.

“Fuck, that was too fucking close,” he barks, looking pissed.

“They didn’t see a thing or have a clue. They probably think we snuck booze in here like we did for homecoming. Not a big deal. Now, where were we?” I try to reach for him, but he slaps my hand away.

“No, Baylor. We almost got caught. I knew this was a bad idea.”

The fuck? He’s acting like the room was on fire and we almost died.

“It’s not a big deal, man. They didn’t see anything.” But even if we had gotten caught, so the fuck what? At some point we’re going to have to stop sneaking around and face the world. If people want to judge us, so be it.

“It is a big deal, Baylor.” His anger nearly knocks me back. He’s really pissed. “It’s not just about what our friends think. It’s about our futures. Our college teammates, our coaches, the fucking media. Our parents. No one can find out about us.”

Seriously? He’s acting like his life will be over if people find out he’s gay. Look, I get the fear over telling our parents, and about what our friends who have known us our entire lives will think, but all the strangers out in the world, who gives a fuck what they think? If they can’t accept us, fuck ‘em. So what? Does he think we’re going to live the rest of our lives in secret?

“Look, I understand that you’re afraid, Ryeson. I have the same fears, but we shouldn’t have to live our lives with a cloud of shame hanging over our heads. We didn’t mean to fall in love, but we did. So, if people can’t accept that, accept us, then who the fuck needs them?”

He takes a step back like I’ve just punched him in the chest. His head is shaking and my stomach tightens at the look on his face.

“This isn’t going to work, Baylor.”

The fuck?

“What’s not going to work?”

“Us. We’re not going to work. We’ve been caught up in the sex and it’s been fucking fun, but we’re never going to have a future together.”

But he was just talking about our future at college when we were in the gym.

“Really? You’re going to tell me that this has all just been about the sex?”

Sure, we fuck like rabbits, but we also hang out and laugh and talk for hours at night about life and our goals. We’re so connected on so many levels. The sex and our friendship are intertwined, and now, I’m in love with him.

“We had an arrangement, Baylor.”

“Fuck the arrangement.” That shit got thrown out ages ago. We have a relationship now.

“I’m sorry, Baylor. It’s over.”

He turns and storms from the room, and I stare at the door waiting for him to turn around and come back in. Waiting for him to realize he made a haste decision. He’s going to rush back in and sweep me into his arms, tell me he freaked out for a second. But as the minutes tick by, he never returns. The silence echoes. The pain starts to set in. And reality crashes down. I got too close and now he’s running.

The room becomes blurred, closing in. It feels like I can’t breathe. It feels like I’m dying inside.

I thought he was in this with me. I thought he would fight for us. But he’s gone. It’s over.

And now…I feel like a broken man.

18

Ryeson

Brennon takes a seat next to me, looking at the vacant spot across the table.

---