Page 41 of Without Pride and Prejudice

“Very well.” Mr. Bingley dashed off.

Jane flashed me a mortified look but said nothing. It wasn’t surprising. In the novel, Jane hadn’t been good at sticking up for herself either.

I wanted to ease her mind, but my head hurt, and I was still freaking out about this unexpected plot twist in my life, or un-life. Was that even a word?Please, please, don’t let me be unalive.Before being actively engaged in this strange place, I should probably first work out why I was there. If it was like a space-time continuum thing, I was toast. I couldn’t even wrap my mind around a reason why that would happen. It would be easier to figure out if it ended up being aFantasy Islandepisode. That would be obvious. I was here to become the best Elizabeth I could be, and to learn something horrid about myself that would teach me a moral lesson—you know, more horrid than being unable to truly help anyone, or my best friend offering me his heart, if only I changed everything about myself. There was still the remote possibility it was a dream and none of this really mattered, except I couldn’t wake up, and that was exponentially bad. Finally, if I was dead and this was heaven, well, I guess I should get my man, I mean Mr. Darcy, and live happily ever after. It might be the only way I could ever have Fitz. Would Mr. Darcy kiss like Fitz? Yes, please.

Poor Fitz; what must he be thinking and doing right now? Despite the harsh things he’d said to me last night, I knew it would crush him if I died or disappeared. But in his anguish,he probably still thought this would never have happened if I’d listened to him and followed his plan for me. Was he right? Did I need to stop helping people? Is this what I was supposed to learn here?

As soon as Mr. Bingley exited, Mrs. Bennet turned toward me, her brows furrowing and nose wrinkling. “You foolish girl. How could you fall off your horse in front of Mr. Bingley and his friend, Mr. Darcy? I must find out more about that gentleman—Mr. Darcy,” she said more to herself. “His clothes and manners show he must have five thousand or more a year. Thank heavens Mr. Bingley seems taken with Jane,” she exclaimed.

“Jane, Jane, Jane,” Kitty grumbled under her breath in the background.

Mary played the pianoforte louder, as if she, too, were weary of hearing Jane’s praises sung.

I’d never given much thought to how the younger sisters felt, constantly hearing about Jane’s beauty. Not that Jane didn’t deserve the praise—she is lovely—but maybe that was part of the reason they sought attention in less healthy ways. Of course, Lydia was a favorite of Mrs. Bennet’s, as well, but her mother and father didn’t consider her the beauty they did Jane.

“Perhaps it was fortunate your mishap brought an admirer for Jane,” Mrs. Bennet snapped. “Look at you, though, covered in mud—always mud with you. I told my brother and sister not to waste their money buying you a riding habit.”

I supposed she was talking about Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner.

“My dear,” Mr. Bennet said in a strained voice. “I think it best if you retire to your rooms before the assembly. Think about your nerves.”

I got the feeling she was getting on his nerves.

“The assembly.” Mrs. Bennet lit up. “I cannot wait to tell Lady Lucas that Mr. Bingley has honored Jane with the first two dances.”

“Yes, yes,” Mr. Bennet chuckled. “We love to make sport for our neighbors.”

Jane finally came to my side, sat on the settee, and took my hand. She wore a muslin dress in light blue with a satin sash just below her bustline. Her hair was fashioned in a modest updo with a few curls framing her face. “Are you all right, Lizzy?”

No, I wasn’t all right. I just wanted to go home. I wanted Fitz, the jerk. Tears pricked my eyes, but I managed to say, “I am well.”

“Why has your voice changed?” Jane sounded concerned.

Dang it. I probably sounded very American. With a Midwestern accent at that. I don’t think the Midwest even existed in this time period. “No need to worry.” I switched to mimic Jane’s tone and accent, hoping I sounded like Elizabeth. “I think it was the shock of the fall.” Boy, was I ever shocked.

“Now you sound more like yourself,” Jane said, relieved.

“Mary, please stop playing.” Mrs. Bennet rubbed her head. “I think I will rest.” She swept out of the room with no thought for me at all.

“Let us get ready for the assembly.” Lydia pulled Kitty out of the room.

Mary sighed, grabbed a book, and muttered while exiting, “I do not understand all the excitement about the assembly. I would much rather read a book. The mind is, after all, our truest companion.”

I couldn’t help but giggle.

“There go the three silliest girls in the country.” Mr. Bennet shook his head before pressing his hand to my cheek. “Are you sure you are well, my dear?”

“Yes, Papa,” I said. The words came naturally, even though I wished for my own father. Had Fitz told him yet of my accident or demise?

“Very well. I count on your intelligence and spirit around here. I am going to see when we should expect Mr. Jones. If you are in pain, I think your mother may have a store of laudanum.”

Uh ... laudanum is opium. Yikes. But it did kind of explain a lot about her character. “That will not be necessary.” I had to keep reminding myself not to use contractions and to speak in a proper British accent.

“Good girl.” Mr. Bennet kissed my brow before he stood and wandered off.

I hoped the apothecary didn’t come. I could probably heal myself better than he could, especially if he was going to prescribe laudanum for the pain.

Jane patted my hand.

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