Page 39 of Possessing the Prince

Wait…hell no… I can’t.I am not a little British woman with no attachments. I am married to an Ashanti prince that also happens to be a possessive son of a bitch. Nope, the other shoe has officially dropped, and it is a baby.A miracle.

How can I raise this baby? I’m not fit to be a parent. Just look at the man that raised me. There was an entire clan looking to take me the first chance they got all because my bloodline is fucked up with no moral center. How can I bring a baby into this?

But God doesn’t just give out miracles every day.Does he?Damn, I can’t think. I just need space and time to think. Senya will crowd me. Maya will tell me what I must do. No one will ever let me make this decision on my own because Senya will declare both me and the baby are his.

I have to run.I have to be free.

Decisions

Abena

Iwish I had a drink, pill, or even another Birkin Bag, right now.Anything to dull my senses.

The crazy thing is even if I hate my current circumstance, the love I’m feeling won’t subside. I’m already head over heels for the little one growing inside me. I knew it the moment the doctor returned and started the ultrasound. Apparently I’m closer to ten weeks pregnant, and our baby’s heart beat is loud and strong. Even now, I am looking down and rubbing my belly with no other thoughts in the world. The doctor leaves and I don’t even notice until Maya interrupts my thoughts by firmly placing her hand on my knee.

She sees the fear in my eyes—she knows I want to run. I’m ready to break out into a full-on sprint to anywhere but here. I feel blindsided. I feel like nothing will ever be the same again. I can’t handle this! Maya knows that helpless feeling, and even if she won’t agree with me,she gets me.

Senya was only supposed to be a means to an end. Anytime I talked about the arrangement with him, I reminded him of that. I love Senya and I find him sexy as fuck. But my relationship with him is supposed to come to an end in seven months so that I can fulfill my dream and take that royal contract.

I still might.

A million dollars is more than enough to raise a child. Not to mention I have money saved up. Or maybe I’ll finally try New York. I just want to go anywhere that I don’t have to worry about any man controlling my life. I would never keep Senya away from his child, but I can’t be his wife.

“Abena, don't do anything rash.” Maya is a damn mind reader. “You really don’t know what Senya will do. It’s not like he’s going to hold you and the baby hostage.” She chuckles until she sees the distress still on my face. Her face softens and she rubs my leg. “Abena, Senya has always listened to your concerns before. What makes you think he won’t now?”

“Ha!” I scream out a little too loud. “Yes, Senya listens to my concerns, but he does not acquiesce to many of my requests. Senya is stubborn. A child will only make him fight harder for marriage. He even had a clause for an unwanted pregnancy in our contract. It’s like he was trying to get me pregnant. Once I told him that I couldn’t, he was still supportive. He kept saying there are many ways for us to become parents. Now here I am knocked up. He must have super Ewe sperm or something. It’s like his love burrowed into my womb and left a seed there.”

Maya laughs until tears flow. “Abena, calm down. Is this really all that bad? Senya is your husband. It’s natural for you two to have a baby. Why fight the inevitable?”

I look at her with shock. Then I feel the wetness form around my eyes. I look down and exhale loudly. “Inevitable?! Why is it inevitable? Because some man says so? When I was born, my father started planning my life right away. I was no more than a pawn on his chessboard of royal ambitions. He sent me to London for boarding school against my will only because the Asantehene’s son was there. I wanted to stay with my mom, and when I returned home during my sophomore year for break, my father told me she died the night before I arrived home for winter break. But my father didn’t care about that.”

“All he cared about was making sure I married the king of the Ashanti so he could keep the Apeagyeis off his back and have influence over the crown. I never had the opportunity to explore love for myself! Instead, inevitably, I fell in love with the one man who saw me for who I was in the midst of all my storms. Senya is a wonderful man and I’m lucky he loves me. But Maya, how would you react if you never got to make one real decision for yourself? I don’t want it to be inevitable! I want into be a choice!”

“This marriage of convenience was my chance to get a chance to one day choose what I want for myself. Maybe I’d still choose Senya, but at least it would bemy choice. Now Senya and this baby have taken it all away from me. My father fucked me up. How do I know I won’t do the same to my child?”

Maya shakes her head, refusing to listen any further. “What about your mom? You said she was amazing before she died. She can be your example.”

I turn away from Maya’s exacting eyes. “Yeah, but I’m nothing like her, Maya. What scares me the most is how similar my father and I are. We share limitless ambition. We think with our heads first and disregard the heart. We both see the world as a stage where we are all merely players. I hate to admit that, but deep down I know that’s who I am.”

Maya reaches out and turns my face toward her. “Yes, but you are so much more, Abena. You’re not selfish and self-centered like your father. You are giving and compassionate. I’ve seen you at events with Senya. The kids love you most. You are going to be a natural at this.”

“I just don’t know, Maya. The best thing you can give a child is two loving parents in a strong marriage. I just don't know if Senya and I can really go the distance. It might be better to just cut my losses now and raise the child in an environment I can control. One where it’s just me and the child. They can see their dad whenever they want. But at least our daily life will have no drama, no change, and no disappointments.”

Maya takes my hand and squeezes it tight. “Abena, as someone who overreacts to many things, I know how you feel. I know all about high-handed men who are madly in love, fiercely loyal, and extremely protective. But you have to see the good in this. Senya loves you. And if you run away, it will crush him, but Senya is not Adom or Kofi. If you leave, he will let you. He’s not going to chase you down. And if he ever finds out you lied to him about this baby, he’ll never forgive you. So if you’re going to leave, you better be woman enough to tell him why. You can’t have this both ways, Abena. Either you love Senya and want to be with him, or you don’t. I’m not trying to sway you either way, but I want you to be clear on the consequences. You will not be able to charm or fuck your way back into his heart.”

My pulse is racing. “Maya, what the hell is that supposed to mean? I don’t have sex with Senya to get my way.”

Maya shakes her head. “I’m not judging you, Abena. I’m telling you from experience. Before Adom and I truly fell in love, I tried to play games with him. I was so used to manipulating him in small ways. Just to maintain control, I’d make him prove his love for me over and over again. Finally he got frustrated and left me in Atlanta without a second thought.”

I gasp. I never knew this part of Adom and Maya’s story. “He left you? I never knew that. And you went after him?”

Maya nods. “Yes, he most definitely did. And in a restaurant, no less!” She shakes her head at the memory. “Adom was so angry with me for lying to him that he ordered me to get dressed, took me to his favorite restaurant, and sent a car to take me home right after he told me he was leaving for Ghana. Girl, I need to stop talking about it or I’ll get angry all over again.”

I laugh, because Maya’s face really is tight right now. But then she softens. “But I was wrong, Abena. I needed him, and I had to fly to Ghana to get him back. You don’t need that drama. Just get it right from the start. Don’t run, talk to him.”

I take a deep breath and give Maya the side eye. “Fine. I know what needs to be done. I need to go home.”

Reparations

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