Page 43 of Choosing the Chief

I rub my hand across the nape of my neck. “How is being a drunk and hopping from bed to bed providing a sense of normalcy for any child?”

“Adom, I was not perfect. I had my demons to fight. I apologize that I did not handle my pain in a more productive way. I have been clean for over ten years now, but you do not know that truth because you are never around me long enough to find out. It breaks my heart that you do not care to be around me. You are my only child. Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?”

“No.” My voice cracks and the floodgates of emotion open. I cry silently, but I know she knows.

“Oh, my love, you are the only good thing I made. You are the sun and the moon in my universe. I think about you when I wake up and when I go to sleep at night. I worry about whether or not you are eating and whether or not you are being loved. I call and ask you for things just to hear your voice. You painted a particular picture of me in your mind and fixed the image in your heart. All I try to do is live up to what you expect so I can have some kind of relationship with you.”

I stand from the chair I am sitting in and begin to pace. I take deep breaths as I walk to clear my thoughts. My mother says nothing. She gives me time to work through all she has said, and after a moment it becomes clear to me.I need my mom.

“Mother, can you come over? I think I would like us to read these letters together. I want to believe your truth.”

She exhales a breath she was holding on the other end of the phone. “Aane, I’m coming.”

Chapter Thirty

Correspondance

Adom

The past 24 hours have been nuts. After reading those letters with my mother, I can honestly say my life will forever be divided into two eras: the time before the letters and the time after. As we read and talked, I discovered that my mother is not a monster—she is a victim.

Her story is that of a young noble woman who was madly in love with prince Kwame Ajyei, my father and future king. As children, they were inseparable. As teenagers they became lovers. As young adults they made promises to forsake service and duty in order to live in love. However, the day before they were to leave, Kwame's father died. Overnight, Kwame became king and my mother’s father determined that his older daughter, my aunt Akosua, would make the new king a more pliable queen.

Yao Asante was on a quest to gain influence over the Ashanti throne and knew my mother would never bend to his will. On the other hand, Kofi's mother was devoted to my grandfather and his ambition. Still, my father, Kwame, was determined to be with my mother, the woman he loved.

My mother and father hatched a plan and communicated through coded letters. They would meet at the old family church in Tafo, where my mother's brother, Paul, was pastor. My uncle Paul agreed to marry them in secret in the Bonbiri woods behind the church. However, my aunt Akosua, Kofi's mother, got wind of the plan and told my grandfather. Furious at my mother’s insolence, my grandfather kidnapped his own daughter and sent her away to the bush where she stayed with his sister Amma under heavy guard. Amma did not agree with the arrangement, but her brother was chief, and she was already on his bad side for marrying outside of his wishes.

By the time my mother returned to Kumasi, Kofi's mother and King Kwame were married. My mother wept. For an entire year, she avoided both of them, but Kofi's father chased her relentlessly. In letter after letter, he begged for forgiveness and claimed he had no control over what happened. He implored her to be his wife in heart and body, even if she could not be his wife in name. My mother was young and she was in love. Engaging in an affair was wrong, but she was not the vixen that we all thought her to be.

What hurts me most is that my mother never truly got to know real love. After her sister died, she tried different men and different vices to fill the void. It seemed the life that was thrust upon her did not leave space for true love. Her loss made her bitter toward the concept of royalty and she eventually sent me away to Britain in the hopes that I would find peace. In the process, I became richer and more estranged from her and her family. Though it grieved her, she preferred that to me becoming one of them. I wish she would have given me more of a choice. I know without a doubt that as a child and young man I would have chosen my mother over my peace.

I spent the rest of the night trying to heal the past hurt I was responsible for. I apologized for my past behavior and asked for forgiveness. I treated her more horribly than I ever realized over the years. She agreed to forgive me, if I could also forgive Senya and Kofi. She insisted that we must reunite the family that our father broke, and that Kofi and even Senya would love nothing more than for us to be brothers. So now I am standing at the front door of Kofi’s home, Bonbiri, intent on finding out if my mother’s assertions are true.

When Kofi opens the door, I am greeted with the cries of my four-month-old nephew. I smirk. “I see Bonbiri is not the quiet retreat in the woods that it once was…king.”

Kofi blows out a breath, “We’ve tried everything, he just won’t stop crying.”

I frown as I take a good look at Kofi. His eyes have bags underneath them. He is dressed in a wrinkled black T-shirt and baggy black sweatpants. Both items are marked with spit-up even though he has a cloth diaper to catch such mishaps thrown over his shoulders. I don’t think I have ever seen Kofi in sweatpants.Ella must have bought them.“That is because you don’t know what you’re doing.” I push past him. “Let Uncle Adom see what he can do.”

Kofi lifts his hands in defeat and moves out of my way.Now, I know he’s tired.

I enter the family room and Ella has the baby in her arms. He is screaming bloody murder. The adults look like they just want to go to sleep. I look in one corner and see that Akua actually is asleep in a leather armchair.

I walk over to Ella and kiss her cheek. “Give me my nephew. Is this Panin or Kumaa?”

Ella looks at me with gratitude in her eyes. “This is the first born, Panin.” Panin looks me in my eyes and starts to scream. I laugh and ask Senya to bring me the second born, Kumaa. Senya gives me a skeptical look and I tell him to come. He places the screaming infant in my arms, and I start to sing the Twi folk song my mother sang to me, “Senwa dedenda.” Within a few seconds, the twins quiet and start to suck their fingers.Ahh, they are hungry.All three members of my family look at me in awe. Ella speaks first.

“How do you know how to do that?! What song is that?” She looks at Kofi and punches his arm. “I told you I needed to learn Twi!”

I chuckle. “Ella, don’t you remember my part-time job at Spelman’s nursery? Always remember that before I was a billionaire, I did a lot of things to make money. That job was one of my favorites and I was good at it. Now, if you want the boys to stay like this, you better come over here and pop a breast out—they are hungry.”

Ella walks over and smacks me upside my head with a cloth diaper. “Don’t be crass, Adom.” She sits down and looks up at Kofi. His mouth is still hanging open from shock and I hope a bit of inadequacy. I love it when I am better than him at something.Old habits die hard.Ella calls to him, “Kofi, bring me one of the boy’s blankets so I can feed them.” Kofi grabs a blanket from the edge of a play crib they have in the family room.

Then he looks at me and sighs as I continue to hum. “Aane, I know Senwa dedenda. That song is literally about a mother feeding her child. My mom used to sing that to me.” We look at each other over the shared past experience and a lot of things become clear.

“Yes, that song brings back a lot of memories.” I pass Panin over to Ella so she can feed him, and I continue to rock Kumaa. “I came tonight to talk with you and Senya in private, but we may as well talk here. Plus, Kumaa is comfortable, and we all know he’s the boss.” I smile at Ella and she touches my arm.

Senya walks over and stands with Kofi. “There is nothing to talk about Adom, a lot of things about our childhood were fucked up and out of our control. But the three of us should have done better with the things that were in our control.”

---