Page 42 of Choosing the Chief

She nods. “That is the way your grandfather wanted it. However, your mother, my sweet Afia, would sneak out here as often as she could.”

Of course, my mother knows about her and did not bother to tell me.Will the secrets ever end?

“My mother knows you? She never said anything to me.”

“Umm hmm, that was probably for the best. But your brother Senya knows me very well. I raised him, you know.”

Could this be the woman that my mother gave Senya to as a baby?The old woman continues.

“I raised him, and I love him. I also love your mother very much. But you hate them both…or so I hear.”

Hearing her say it that way makes me feel ashamed.How can one hate their mother and their brother?I search for the right tone. “I do not hate them, auntie—we just do not see eye to eye at the moment.”

She wags her finger. “Do not lie to an old woman. You hate them because you think they keep secrets away from you and do not love you. Well, I called you in here to tell you how wrong you are. Your mother, most of all, loves you very much. Senya is indifferent. That I will be honest about.”

I laugh a hearty laugh, and it feels good to have something to laugh about. “Auntie, thank you for being so direct, but I do not think I am wrong about my mother. You do not know what my childhood was like.”

“That is where you are wrong. I do know. Your mother made many mistakes because of her own demons. You may know your own childhood, but you do not know your own mother. She is too stubborn to let you in. She thinks you should love and accept her just because she is your mother. It sounds like you two are exactly alike. Come help me out of this chair, I have something to show you.”

I rise and walk over to her chair. Once I help her from the chair, she asks me to follow her. We arrive at a small desk across the room and she pulls out a bundle of letters. She hands them to me.There must be about 100 of them.

“I want you to take these letters home and read every one of them. Then I want you to review the judgement you have bestowed upon your mother and determine if it is just. Will you do that for an old woman?” I smile and nod.

“Of course, auntie. I will. Now what else can I do for you? After all, your great-nephew is chief, there must be something you need that I can provide.”

She takes me into a hug and holds me tight. “I need you to forgive.” She releases me with tears threatening the corners of her eyes. “Life is too wonderful to waste time on bitterness, anger, or regret. You have had enough time for the sharp edge of the betrayal to wear off. Now, it is time to heal.”

I say nothing. I fumble with the letters and nod.

“Come back to see me when you can. I want to get to know you. Will you do that for me?”

I kiss her cheek. “Now that I’ve found you, a stampede of wildebeests will not keep me away.”

* * *

When I get home, I set up camp in my newly finished office. I finger the letters and notice they are all addressed to my mother from my father, King Kwame Ajyei. Suddenly, I feel like I am prying in my mother’s private thoughts. Whatever is written in these letters must be important or Amma would have never given them to me. I go back and forth about opening them and decide to call my mother. I have not spoken with her in a little over a month. I only call monthly to ensure she is alive. I must admit, she always seems glad to hear from me. But she never presses her luck. She never apologizes, but she never pretends like she does not need to. She lets me take the lead on how much interaction we have. When I pick up the phone to call her, she answers on the first ring.

“Adom, what is it? It is not the date of your monthly check-in.” I roll my eyes at her comment. I know she hates that I ignore her every other day of the month. I think it is best to limit our interactions. Around her, my anger comes too quickly.

“I know what day it is. I am calling because I spent my day in the bush and met your aunt Amma.”

She is silent. I know this silence well. She is not going to explain herself. She is not going to tell me anything unless I ask.

“Mother, why do you keep so many secrets from me? Why did I not know about this aunt? She seems like a lovely woman.”

She sighs. “I told her to leave well enough alone, but I knew she would not. Did she tell you she secretly raised Senya?”

“Yes.”

“Then you know why I did not tell you. How could I? Senya had to stay hidden from your father. Then once your father died, you were not around much. Should I have picked up the phone and said, ‘by the way, you have another brother?’”

“Yes, Mother. That is exactly what you or Senya, or even Kofi, should have done, but I am not calling to discuss that today. I am calling because auntie gave me a bunch of your letters. They are between you and my father. She told me to read them and come back to see her. I did not feel right reading your private correspondence without your knowledge.”

“Hmm…so the old woman gave you my letters. Well, you may as well read them. I do not know how much good it will do you, but since you seem to be in relentless pursuit of facts and information, I guess it will make you happy.”

She still does not understand my need for truth. “What is wrong with wanting to know the truth?”

“Adom, there is nothing wrong with wanting the truth. However, you are not seeking truth, you are seeking information without context. That is why you only ever have knowledge without truth. You trust nothing…no one, and because you do not trust, you will never have truth. The truth is, I love you and every decision I made was in the interest of protecting my little boy. You were born into a crazy situation. I wanted some sense of normalcy for you.”

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