Page 40 of Choosing the Chief

I see the pain on his face. But I can’t let him destroy all the connections and progress he’s made since coming back to Ghana. “Adom, I don’t think that is true at all. I think Kofi loves you very much. He didn’t want you to find out, because he did not want you to feel this way—like you could not trust him.”

“So, instead he lies to me for decades?”

I lift my hand in protest. “Hold on, Adom. Kofi was lied to also. He didn’t know until he was crowned king. That was only because Senya did not want him blindsided later by all of this during his reign. There were a lot of mistakes made, but I believe everyone is trying to find the best way forward.”

His eyes go dark and he looks right through me. “Why are you defending him? You are supposed to be on my side.”

I move to the edge of the bed. Suddenly, my state of undress feels awkward. Adom won’t even look at me. “Adom, there are no sides. There are just lies, secrets, and finally the truth. It’s up to all of us to not let any of it consume us.”

“That’s easy for you to say.They told you! They still have not told me. My own mother did not tell me I had a brother. How fucked up is that? She planted him in my life and didn’t even give me the courtesy of telling me who he is!” He starts to breathe faster and his face is flush! “Wait! Why did they tell you?”

I exhale. “Oh, they did not want to! But when Abena showed up desperate to get from under her father’s thumb, she pushed Afia into a corner. They need you to formally abdicate the position of prince—the Asantehene’s second—so that Kofi can crown Senya. That way, Abena’s father will allow them to marry. They told me because…”

“Because they figured since I’m fucking you, I would take it better from your lips than theirs?”

Motherfucker.That hurt. “No Adom, they figured since you love me, and I love you, that I could support you when you hear the news.”

“Pfft.” He starts to pace. “Like any of you know the first thing about love. Everyone just wants to take care of themselves.” He pauses and looks me straight in the eye. “But when is someone going to think about me first, huh? When will someone say, ‘let’s think about how this will affect Adom?’ My fucking mother won’t even do it. She gave more affection to my half-Ashanti brother than she gave her own son.” He smacks his chest for effect. “Well fuck it, I don’t need anything from anyone. He can have the title. I never wanted it anyway.”

I stand and move toward him. “I know you are not lumping me into that category. Not after all we’ve been through together. I have always held you down.”

“Maya. Let’s be honest. All. You do. Is. Drain…me.” He claps between phrases to punctuate each horrible word. “You take, take, take. Then the one chance you had to give me something I really needed, such as information about my own fucking family and origins, you decide to hold back until it benefits you. So yes, I am talking about you. You most of all.”

“How the fuck does any of your fucked-up family history benefit me? I didn’t ask to be dragged into the middle of this bootleg Tyler Perry movie that is your family life!”

“You did not ask, but it benefits you all the same. It gives you the out you so desperately crave—to not have to commit to me or a marriage. You knew the longer you held that information, the worse it was going to be when you told me. But still, you held on to it and started fucking with me about how I would leave you over lies and secrets. Well you know what, princess, you win! I no longer want to marry you. As a matter of fact, I don’t even want you here any longer.”

He pauses and steps closer to me. He gestures between us. “This…us…we have run our course. After 16 years of obsessing over you, and then watching you self-destruct for the past five only to spend the better part of this past year putting your ass back together again, I am tired. I am done. Please go back to Atlanta and live the fabulous life you imagine you had. Because the way I remember it, you were a pathetic drunk with no man, no friends, and no direction. But by all means, go back to Buckhead and pretend you have it all together. Just do me a favor and don’t get behind the wheel of a German sports car again with an alcohol level of 1.4 at eight in the fucking morning!”

I stay silent and still. I imagine I am not here. I envision myself back in the bathroom last night washing my man’s feet—watching him explode in pleasure from just the sight of me. Tears fall through his angry diatribe, but neither of us move to wipe them. Instead, he finishes and walks out the room, slamming the door behind him.

When he is gone, I start to think about how I’m going to keep my sobriety and sanity when the only man I’ve ever given a damn about just told me to go to hell. My best friend is trying to keep her babies alive and well before birth, and the only family I have is a grandfather who decided I was worth talking to only a couple of weeks ago. How will I manage?What is the roadmap back to true self-reliance and care?It only takes a moment before I realize I know exactly who to call.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Kindred

Maya

“How did you know?” Abena Owusu sits across the table from me poolside at the Labadi Beach Resort. We are both sipping seltzer water spiced with fresh limes. I’m sure my phone call came as a surprise to her. She did not expect to spend her Sunday afternoon talking about overcoming past addictions to alcohol and Adderall. However, when I called to tell her I am battling to maintain my own sobriety, she was gracious and came right away.

I clear my throat. “I know because when Adom took me into Accra to buy jewelry, we went to your brother Thomas’ store. At the time, I was just starting to get over the last of my withdrawal symptoms. Your brother noticed my hands shaking. He calmed me by covering them with his own and whispering that he has a sister and he understands.” I giggle at the memory of Adom’s angry reaction. “Of course, Adom thought he was hitting on me, and came over to break us up pretty quickly. Curious, I contacted a few friends in London and they said you used to be heavy on the scene. I apologize for prying, but something in me needed to know that someone as fabulous as you had a past similar to mine.”

Abena nods slowly. “I don’t hide my past. The fact that I overcame it liberates me. Yes, I was on the scene. But now I am five years sober, and I know you will be too. You’ve just got to let go of all the bad shit you can’t control. Starting with Adom’s dramatic ass. He’s always been like that, even as a kid. He was impossible to play with, always whining that someone was cheating or not playing fair. We used to hide from him.” She laughs, but I can’t. All I can picture in my head is Adom as a sad little boy.

Abena leans over and grabs my hand. “I know you love him. But loving him will not help you right now. Instead, you have to love yourself. That is the only road to sobriety. You have to start a relentless and completely selfish self-love campaign. What you are missing in all of this, is why Adom asked you to go back to Atlanta. He is practicing his version of self-love. He will push us all away until he can center himself. Once he starts to see past his fear and rage, I have no doubt he will come back for you. Hopefully he will be a repentant and better man. However, if I were you, he would not find me where he left me nor where he told me to go. I’d make bloody sure he would not greet the same Dr. Maya Taylor. Maya, take this time to become your best self. Then you can tell him to go to hell! Or, you can forgive him and have the best makeup sex ever. It is all totally up to you. He showed you all his cards. You are powerful beyond measure in this situation. You just can’t see it because your feelings are hurt.”

I promised I would not shed another tear about this, but yesterday’s tears return. After packing up a few things, I called Senya and had him bring me to this resort. I cried all night and here I am, back at it. “Thank you, Abena. I know I will find my way back to who I am. My mistake was thinking my love for Adom would allow me to do so. In the beginning I told myself I did not have space for him, that he was crowding my healing process. But once he left and came here, all I could think about was being with him. He is like my safety net.”

“Mmm hmm. You know my brother was that person for me. Then I learned the only safety net you need and can count on is the God within you. You are already built to tackle anything that besieges you. Go somewhere and get quiet. Be still, heal, and then decide. This break from Adom is a blessing. Trust me.”

I signal for a waiter. “I’m hungry, aren’t you? Let’s order some jollof and another spritzer, shall we?”

Abena gives me a bright and genuine smile. “Yes, I’m starving!” She looks as pleased as I am to find a kindred spirit. When I called Ella yesterday and told her everything, she was supportive of this meeting, even after everything that went down between her, Kofi, and Abena, she was graceful about Abena and I being better acquainted. Her generosity is one of the things I admire most about her.It was also reassuring to hear her reiterate that I get her in the divorce if Adom continues to act like an ass.Once Abena and I order our food, we jump right back into conversation.

“Abena, what are your next steps? With Senya, I mean. Do you think you will be able to marry him?”

Abena cocks her head to the side and gives me a half smile. “I do not want to spend any more of our time together talking about Adom, but I will tell you that he has abdicated his title as Kofi’s prince and second in succession. He called us all to Manhyia Palace yesterday under the guise of discussing how he can help, now that he knows the truth. He then proceeded to thoroughly curse everyone out.”

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