Page 42 of Audacity

He jerks his head up. ‘Seriously? You barely know me!’

I scrunch up my face in sympathy.

‘You think Gabriel knows?’

‘Please,’ I scoff. ‘He’s clueless.’

Relief flashes across his features, followed by hurt. ‘He’s hired you to fuck him.Does that mean what I think it means?’

‘It means I’m what’s known as a “full service” EA. I meet the professional and sexual needs of extremely powerful men within their office hours. It’s highly efficient.’

He’s full-on gaping at me. ‘Hoooly fuck. Is that actually a thing?’

‘It absolutely is. A very discreet, very expensive thing.’

‘Hang on. Let me get this straight. So you’re telling me our precious Priest Boy hired himself a… oh my God. Oh myGod. This is better than Fleabag!’

I bark out a surprised laugh. ‘You’re taking this a lot better than I expected.’

He visibly sags. ‘Oh, please. It’s not like I thought I had a chance. I know he likes women. Loves them, if the amount of times I’ve booked him a private room at Alchemy is any sign.’

‘I heard he traumatised a cleaner there,’ I say with a smile. ‘That’s when he decided to hire me.’

‘It was a low point, that’s for sure. Do you know what he did, though? He had me chase Alchemy for the cleaner’s details and send her a huge bunch of flowers and a grand’s worth of Tesco vouchers. How sweet is that?’

I roll my eyes. Of course he bloody did. ‘Ridiculously sweet. God, he’s a good man.’

‘He is one hundred percent Jesus in this scenario,’ George confirms. ‘And you know what that makes you, right?’

‘Let me guess. Mary Magdalene?’

He nods. ‘That is correct.’

‘I’m the fallen woman, the whore who tries to corrupt him.’

‘The whore whoseeshim,’ he corrects me. ‘And whofalls for him.’

‘Well, that’s not going to happen. I’m just here to keep his mind clear and his dick wet.’

He flops dramatically back on the sofa. ‘Jesus Christ. Pun intended. You lucky, lucky bitch. I can’t bear it.’

‘Is this going to be a problem for you and me?’

‘No.’ He shakes his head and presses his lips together before continuing. ‘Alas, my love for him is as selfless as it is unrequited. I just want to see him happy and well looked after. And if it has to be anyone, I’m glad it’s you, because you literallycouldn’t be any hotter, and you’re also a total badass, which I really like. Plus, I bet you’re as good at blowjobs as I am.’

‘I absolutely am,’ I agree.

‘Have you fucked him already?’ He turns to look at me. ‘You have. Of course you have. Fuck, you’ve already had the privilege of seeing him naked.’

Yes, I have, and it’s a fine, fine sight. I usually take great pleasure in knowing that these incredible men wantmeand no one else, but I hate this for George. He’s a lovely guy who cares about Gabriel a lot, and it’s shitty. ‘For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.’

He waves my apology off. ‘You can make it up to me by getting knocked up, because you guys would make the most gorgeous babies, and also please marry him and shove your big fat diamond in the faces of all those horrific Sloane Rangers who drool over him at work. I’d pay good money to see that.’

‘I can confirm I have no intention of compromising my birth control or marrying the guy, but I promise you, my only objective is to make him happy.’

‘Yeah.’ He looks me over. ‘God, you’ll definitely do that. I have to say, the man has impeccable taste, even if he doesn’t appreciate your Etro and Chanel game. I love that he hired you. I’ve been dying to see what kind of women he goes for, but honestly? I can’t fault you.’

I smile at him. ‘Why, George, that’s very touching. Thank you.’

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