Page 102 of Audacity

Her show of detachment doesn’t fool me for a second, but Athena is a complex woman. On the surface, she’s the most self-assured person I know. But I can’t quite believe that anyone who knows themselves, at their very core, to be enough, would work so hard. Push so hard.Fightso hard.

I need some perspective. The longer I put off speaking to my family, the worse I’m making the situation, but I could use a pep talk from someone who isn’t saddled with generations of Catholic guilt.

There is no onelesssaddled with generations of Catholic guilt than Anton Wolff, so I call him and beg him to let me buy him dinner.

God knows, he’ll earn it.

It’s not until I get to the discreet Italian Anton has suggested in Chelsea that I realise he’s rallied the troops. Honestly, I’m relieved to see some friendly faces. I’ve been sitting on my hands all day in an attempt to respect Athena’s need for space, but fuck, has it been hard work.

Anton has roped in his successor, Max, who knows Athena far too well for my taste, Max’s husband, Dex, and our mate Adam.

‘Christ, you look rough,’ Max observes, reaching for one of two open bottles of Brunello. ‘Have a drink, mate.’

‘Thanks,’ I mutter. ‘It’s been a painful couple of days.’ I sink into my seat and run my hand through my hair before blowing out a breath. ‘And now I’ve pissed off most of the Alchemy women, I imagine. They’ve all been abandoned on a Saturday night.’

‘Full disclosure.’ Max nudges the bread basket towards me before pouring a generous measure of wine into my glass. ‘They’re all having a movie night together at Adam’s. We were at a loose end, so we thought we’d tag along. As long as you’re less tedious than the entirePitch Perfectfranchise, you’re all good.’

I grimace. ‘Not sure I can promise that.’

Anton grins wolfishly. ‘If Athena’s involved, you can bet it’ll be entertaining. Shoot.’

I take a slug of the excellent red before giving a terse synopsis of the main events: Athena and I agreeing to give a proper relationship a go; my suggestion that she lead the foundation; her bold recommendation that we commit to giving away most of our wealth; the gala; Harrington’s appearance; Athena’s exit; my family’s utter moral outrage; and, as apièce de résistance, my declaration of love right as she safed out on me.

While Dex and Adam have the decency to look dismayed on my behalf, Max and Anton howl with laughter at that last part.

‘Fuck you,’ I tell them.

‘Sorry.’ Anton attempts unsuccessfully to compose his craggy features into a semblance of sympathy. ‘It’s just… you’re a brave man, mate. Rather you than me. That woman doesn’t pull her punches, does she?’

‘I’ve never known Athena to bottle it,’ Max adds. ‘She’s fearless. You must have scared the absolute shit out of her. Rather—this whole situation has scared the shit out of her.’

‘It was horrible.’ I force myself to relive her happiness, her triumph, as we walked in that night. Her excitement over chatting with Dame Sarah Blackwood. She was on fire—until that slimy bastard went for her. Watching the change in her, the way that fire went instantly out, was fucking horrific. I never, ever want to see her that hurt, that humiliated, again.

‘I’m devastated for you both,’ Adam says. ‘Nat loved her—she hasn’t stopped talking about her. Sounds like they got on likea house on fire. She said the dress was perfect on her. I can’t believe she got shafted like that on her big night.’

‘Speaking as a recovering Catholic,’ Dex says with a shudder, ‘I’m right there with her. I can’t imagine how awful she felt when your entire family looked at her like she was a disgusting little sinner. Jesus Christ, I’ve been there. That lens is just so toxic.’

‘That’s the thing, it’s just a lens,’ Adam points out. ‘I’ve been there too, but in my case I deserved it. I committed a terrible crime. I’m still amazed any of Nat’s family give me the time of day. But with you and Athena, who the fuck cares? It’s none of their business, at the end of the day. If you love her, be with her. It’s very straightforward, from where I’m sitting.’

‘I’m still tickled pink that you two have fallen for each other,’ Anton admits. ‘I thought you might have been a nice, juicy challenge for her. You know, corrupt the former priest who’s still stuck in moral purgatory. But she fell hard, by the sounds of it.’

I’m quiet for a moment before I say, ‘We both did.’ I turn to Adam. ‘The reason it’s not that straightforward is because of the foundation. I promised her I’d sort it out, but I’m seriously doubtful that my family will give her their blessing now. They’re so focused on the image we portray to the world. I suspect Mum would rather die than sit back and let a former sex worker take the reins.

‘And because I promised her the earth and now have to renege, I’m bloody petrified that she’ll walk and go straight back to Seraph, looking for another client. She’s so hurt, and she’s so armoured up—you should see her.’

Anton takes a thoughtful sip of his wine. ‘Regarding the foundation, who appoints the CEO?’

‘Me, in theory. It’s a family trust, and everyone should have a say, but it falls under the Rath Mor umbrella, so it’s ultimately my decision.’

‘Hmm.’ His tone is so ominous that I find myself jumping in to expand.

‘This is my chance to prove myself. My mother is still getting over the shame of her son leaving the priesthood. You can imagine.’ I look at Dex, who grimaces sympathetically. ‘I want to do them proud, but I want to do myself proud, too. I walked away from a vocation that simply didn’t feel authentic, no matter how hard I tried, and I came on board to do this. And for the first time in a long time I actually have purpose. I want to do this right.’

‘If you want to do it right, you need to get the right person on board,’ Max says flatly. ‘And you won’t find anyone better to run it than Athena. That’s the truth.’

‘He’s right,’ Anton offers. ‘She’s the dog’s bollocks. You don’t want some ghastly do-gooder running it—you want a fucking shark, and that’s what she’ll bring to the table.’

I smile, despite myself. ‘That’s exactly why I offered her the job.’

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