Page 85 of Captivating

“I’m fine. It’s a graze. Brynlee looked at it, Mom.” I look down at her from the place on the wall I claimed after the last time the nurse came out and updated us.

“Brynlee is a physical therapist, Killian. You might need stitches.”

“Give him some space, Mom,” Brynn saves me. “He’s okay.” She slides in next to me, taking up her own space on the wall, and waits for Mom to sit back down with Dad. “She’s just worried about you, and you know she can’t stand it when she can’t control everything in her world. It’s her love language.”

“Yeah...” I look down at my blood-stained shirt that I refuse to change and squeeze the hoodie they cut off Lilah earlier between my hands.

“She’s going to be okay, Killian.”

She’s going for comfort, but it misses its mark. “You can’t know that, Brynn.” I breathe in and out, trying to control—fuck—trying to control anything I can. Clinging to the idea that this is all a bad fucking dream. That we’re going to wake up, and she’s going to be sleepy and soft in my arms where she’s supposed to be.

“I can... Big sisters know these kinds of things.” Brynn leans her head on my shoulder and sighs. “Does she make you happy, little brother?”

“I know what you’re doing,” I tell her.

“Do you?” she asks quietly. “Do you remember my answer when you asked me that?”

I think back to that day in Brynn’s condo when I found out she was seeing her now-husband and how pissed I was. “You said he was everything.”

She nods slowly. “Andyoutoldmehe wasn’t everything, I was. Well guess what?” She waits me out then nudges me. “No guesses?”

“Brynn... I’m covered in the love of my life’s blood. I’m not in the mood for guessing games,” I grunt.

“Here’s the thing, Killer. You were wrong. We both were. Because when you love someone the way I love Deacon and you love Lilah, one of you isn’t everything. It’s the two of you together that are everything. And there’s no way you’d be given that for it to be taken away so quickly. I have faith.”

“Wish I did,” I utter, still wishing it was just a dream.

“Well, I believe enough for the both of us.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Ryan?” When I look up, it’s not the nurse calling us to her this time, it’s a doctor. And I don’t give a shit that I’m not Mr. and Mrs. Ryan when I approach. The doctor looks from Lilah’s parents to me, waiting for the okay to continue.

“This is Lilah’s fiancé, Killian,” Brady tells the doctor as Nattie takes my hand in hers.

“The bullet caused a severe liver laceration. Too severe for non-surgical options to stop the bleeding. Once we got in, we found more damage than we hoped, but we were able to successfully repair the damage to the liver, though Lilah lost a lot of blood. I’m sorry, but we weren’t able to save the baby.”

“What?” I whisper as my knees threaten to give out.

Nattie grips me tighter, and my parents, who were trying to give us a false semblance of privacy, move to my other side.

“Lilah was in the very early stages of pregnancy. There was nothing we could do,” the doctor tells us, and my entire vision narrows down to a pin dot on the wall.

“Can I see her? Is she awake?” I ask before her parents can speak, and tears stream down my face. I don’t care that I’m in a waiting room full of people. I don’t care that her mom and dad want to see her too. I don’t care what my sister said. Lilahiseverything. She’s my everything.

“She’s in recovery now. We’re going to keep her there for a few hours. I’m sorry, but only one person is allowed back.” He looks at Nattie, but Nattie looks at me with exhausted, tear-stained eyes.

“It should be you, Killian. She’ll want to see you when she wakes up.” She wraps her arms around my waist and squeezes. “But you tell our girl that her daddy and I are right here, and we can’t wait to see her, okay?”

I nod with a heavy head and an even heavier heart.

“Take me to Lilah.”

“She looks so pale,” I say to the doctor, who follows me into the private recovery room.

“She’s lost a lot of blood, but she’s a fighter,” he tells me, like I need a stranger to tell me this woman is a fighter. She’s been a fighter her whole damn life.

“She saved me,” I murmur, so fucking mad at her for that.

“I’m sorry we were unable to save the baby. But there was no permanent damage that would indicate any issues with her carrying to term in the future once Lilah has recovered.”

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