“The label kept it quiet. No one knows. I only know because I may have had a thing going with our tour manager. Seriously, man. I just found out when it all happened. I haven’t even told our parents yet.” Noah looks torn. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. But having someone there who could protect her...”
“She fucking hates me,” I groan and crack my neck. “What the hell am I supposed to do? Force my way into her home?”
I mean, I could. It could work.
Who’s gonna fuck with her with a world heavyweight champion fighter at her side?
What’s the alternative?
“She didn’t always hate you...” Noah reminds me, and Maddox laughs.
The asshole pushes another beer across the counter, and I shake my head, refusing it. This whole thing... whole night is a bad idea. “She sure hates you now though.”
I glare at Madman.
Yeah, she does.
He slams the lid of the beer against the bar and drinks it himself. “You know what they say about love and hate?”
“There’s a thin line,” I grumble.
“I was gonna say the sex is better with hate,” Madman grins, and Noah gags.
“No sex. I wasn’t whoring her out,” Noah blows out, and I shove him away.
“Don’t talk about whores and Lilah in the same fucking sentence, asshole,” I warn him, and his smug smile makes me wish I’d hit him harder.
Noah smacks my shoulder and throws a hundred down on the bar. “Sounds like we better get you home, Killer. You’ve got some convincing to do.”
“What?” Goddammit, this is a bad idea.
He adjusts his hat lower on his head and looks around. “You got a back door we can leave through, Madman?”
Maddox tips his head past the bar, and I stand, wondering if I actually just agreed to this crazy idea. I grab Noah’s shoulder and shove him toward the back hall and Maddox’s office. “You sure this is a good idea?”
I’m not sure what I want to hear more... yes or no.
One forces Lilah and me together again after years of distance, and the other one doesn’t.
Is it better to let what we were die in the past?
Then I think about everything Noah just laid out and realize it never did die. She might drive me batshit fucking crazy, but Lilah Ryan will always matter to me. Her safety. Her happiness. Her smile.
I’d still rain down war for her.
LILAH
I once heard female dragonflies will fake their own deaths instead of mating with unwanted males, and now I can’t help but imagine them looking at their friends, laughing. Like, here comes Joey. Quick, girl, play dead.
—Lilah’s Secret Thoughts
Irun my fingers over the keys of my baby-grand piano, humming my favorite song. It was always one of Mom’s most loved, and as I sing the first lines, I can picture her dancing in the studio in our basement. Her eyes closed, just feeling the music.
Music can transform you.
It can calm you and excite you and heal you and break you all in one really good song.
The rhythm, the beat, the heart.