Page 64 of Bonds of Obsession

I lean in, drawn by the hunger in his voice. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” His free hand slides into my hair. “I mean sure, you’re still wrong about Luther and Danica, but I can look past that.”

A laugh escapes my throat before I can stop myself. “You sure were pissed at me that night. I didn’t realize you shipped them that hard.”

“It wasn’t about Danica and Luther. You know that.” He frowns for a split-second, lost in the memory, then shakes his head. “Anyway, we can disagree on that point. But I still knew right then that no one else would ever understand me the way you do. The way you wrote about darkness and light, about violence and love…” His breath fans across my lips. “Like they’re two sides of the same coin.”

“They are.” I press closer, careful of his wounds. “At least for people like us.”

He kisses me and I melt into him. Tasting the soup on his tongue, breathing in the scent that’s uniquely him, I understand exactly what he means. The violence and the tenderness, the pain and the pleasure—it’s all tangled up together, making us who we are.

I take his hand and press it to my chest, right over his mark. My heart pounds against his palm as I whisper, “You have me.” The words feel too big for my throat, too raw and honest, but I need him to know. “All of me.”

His eyes darken, and he pulls me down for another kiss. This one is deeper, hungrier, but I can feel the exhaustion in the way his hands tremble slightly against my skin. Breaking the kiss feels like tearing open a wound, but I force myself to pull back.

“Get some rest,” I murmur, running my thumb over his bottom lip. “I need you strong.”

He catches my wrist, pressing a kiss to my pulse point before letting me go. The gesture is so tender it makes my chest ache.

I slip out into the hallway, closing his door softly behind me. For a moment, I just lean against it, letting out a shaky breath. The warmth of Atlas’s touch lingers on my skin, but it’s already being replaced by a feeling of dread that claws its way up from the pit of my stomach.

The weight of everything crashes over me at once—Ambrose’s threats, the Tyrants gunning for us, Emmett’s betrayal. My fingers curl into fists as memories flood my mind. Atlas thinking he was going to sacrifice himself for me, his screams over the phone, the way I felt when my father got killed… It’s all happening again. Everyone I love is in danger, and I don’t know how to stop it.

My chest feels too tight as I slide down the wall, wrapping my arms around my knees. I’ve already lost too much. The thought of losing any of them—Atlas, Nico, Killian, my gang members—it makes it hard to breathe. These men have become my wholeworld, and the idea that Ambrose or anyone else could take them from me… I press my forehead to my knees, trying to get control of myself. But all I can think about is how close Atlas came to dying, how easily it could be any of them next time. I’m supposed to be strong enough to protect the people I care about, but what if I’m not? What if loving me just puts targets on all their backs?

Heavy footsteps on the stairs snap me out of my spiral. I quickly swipe at my eyes and push to my feet, forcing my breathing to steady. Leaders don’t break down in hallways. They don’t show weakness. By the time the footsteps reach the landing, I’ve got myself back together. My back is straight. My chin is lifted.

I’m good. Good enough for now.

I can feel Killian’s gaze lock onto me the instant he appears at the top of the stairs, even before I’ve had a chance to look over and make eye contact. His massive frame fills the space, but he somehow still moves with the easy, effortless grace of an apex predator, like a lion stalking through the shadows.

I know he sees more than I want him to—he always does—but I meet his eyes steadily, daring him to comment on the way my hands are still trembling or how my mascara might be smudged from tears I refuse to acknowledge, let alone fall down my cheeks.

“You okay?” His voice is low and deceptively gentle.

“Yes.” The lie slips out automatically, my default response anytime I’m asked that question.

In a flash, his hand shoots up to tangle in my hair, yanking my head back sharply. The sudden pain makes me gasp, my scattered thoughts snapping into focus as my scalp tingles. His other hand grips my jaw, forcing me to meet his piercing eyes.

“What did we agree on?” All the gentleness has gone from his voice. “No more lies between us. Not ever.” His fingers tightenin my hair, sending another sharp sting through my scalp. “Try again, siren. Are you okay?”

I’m not sure whether I should be pissed off or turned on as I stare up at him. This is what he does. He strips away my defenses until I’m raw and exposed. Until there’s nowhere left to hide.

“I…” My voice catches as he gives another warning tug. “No. I’m not okay.”

“Tell me.”

“My mind won’t stop.” The words tumble out, freed by the intensity of his grip, by the way he’s staring into me like he can see every broken piece. “There are too many thoughts, too many threats, too much—” My breath hitches. “I can’t make it stop.”

Something in his face softens for just a moment, a flash of understanding in those intense, all-seeing eyes. “I know.” His thumb traces my bottom lip, the gesture surprisingly gentle compared to his grip on my hair. “Do you want me to help you stop thinking for a while?”

Heat pools low in my belly at his words, at the promise in them. He’s offering what he knows I need—a way to shut off my racing mind, to focus only on the kind of pain and pleasure I know he can give me.

I nod as much as his grip allows. “Please.”

The softness leaves his face and is immediately replaced by something darker and hungrier. His pupils dilate until only a thin ring of green remains, and my pulse kicks up at the sight. Without another word, he drags me down the hall toward his bedroom with his fingers still twisted in my hair.

The door slams behind us as he pulls me inside, and I allow myself a split-second of peace along with the anticipation I’m feeling. No matter how rough he is with me, I know for sure he won’t allow me to think of anything—anyone—else but him while we’re together.

---