Page 25 of Bonds of Obsession

I start to slide down the wall, trying to make myself as small as possible. Maybe if I curl up tight enough, I can disappear completely.

Nico and Killian’s voices float around me, but their words are muffled and distorted, like I’m underwater. I catch snippets here and there—“breathe,” “safe,” “got you”—but I can’t piece them together into anything coherent.

A hand touches my shoulder, and I flinch violently, a strangled cry escaping my lips. The hand withdraws immediately, and I hear Nico’s voice, sounding clearer for just a moment.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have—Quinn, mia cara, can you hear me? You’re safe. We’re here.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the panic to subside, but it only seems to intensify. Then I feel a strong hand in my hair, fingers tangling in the strands before giving a sharp tug.

The sting cuts through the fog of panic, forcing me to focus on something real and immediate. I open my eyes again and blink, my vision clearing enough to see Killian crouched in front of me, his intense gaze locked on to mine.

“Breathe,” he says, simply. “In through your nose, out through your mouth. Nice and slow.”

I try to follow his instructions, but my lungs feel like they’ve collapsed, like they’re unable to take in even the smallest amount of air. That’s when I feel Nico behind me, his chest pressed against my back.

“Feel me breathe,” he says, his voice rumbling through me. “Try to match it.”

I lean back against him, letting the steady rise and fall of his chest guide me. Slowly, painfully, I start to regain control of my breathing.

Killian’s hand is still in my hair, the slight pressure grounding me in the present. “That’s it,” he encourages. “You’re doing great. Just keep breathing.”

“You’re safe,” Nico adds, his arms loosely encircling me. “We’ve got you.”

I slowly become aware of my surroundings again, my breathing evening out as the panic recedes. My body feels heavy, like I’ve just run a marathon, and a slight tremor is running through my arms and legs, but at least I can breathe again. I’mstill sandwiched between Nico and Killian, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right this second.

Still, I gently push away from them as a wave of embarrassment washes over me. I’m supposed to be strong, a leader. And here I am, falling apart in front of everyone. I clear my throat, trying to find my voice.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” I manage to croak out.

Killian’s hand slides from my hair to my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t apologize. You’ve been through hell.”

I shake my head, frustrated with myself. “I can’t afford to be weak. Not now. Not with everything that’s going on.”

Nico shifts behind me, his arms loosening but not letting go entirely. “Having a panic attack doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.”

I turn my head slightly, catching his eye. There’s something in his expression, a hint of understanding that goes beyond simple sympathy.

“When I was a kid,” he continues, “after the men took me away from my father, the first thing I did was have a panic attack.”

This confession catches me off guard. He’s always seemed so unflappable, so in control. Sure, I know how to push his buttons and piss him off, but that’s something completely different.

“Really?” My heart breaks to imagine him as a scared kid, falling apart like I just did.

He nods, his eyes softening. “Yeah, really. I was terrified, confused, angry… all of it hit me at once. But you know what? It didn’t make me weak. It made me human.”

I let out a shaky breath, absorbing his words. “How did you get through it?”

“By realizing that panicking, being scared… it’s not weakness. It’s what you do afterward that matters.” He pauses.“Sometimes you have to fall apart so you can put the pieces back together stronger.”

Killian nods in agreement. “He’s right. You’ve been holding it together for so long, siren. It’s okay to break sometimes.”

I close my eyes, feeling the weight of the world pressing down on me. “I’m not sure I can do this,” I whisper, hating how small my voice sounds, hating to even admit my insecurities out loud.

“You can,” Killian says firmly.

Nico’s arms tighten around me. “We know you can. You can do anything.”

For a moment, we just sit there in silence, the three of us tangled together. It’s tender, charged with emotion, and I find myself drawing strength from their silent reassurance.

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