Page 109 of Bonds of Obsession

Something in my chest loosens as I listen to their banter and watch Killian with this tiny, helpless creature. Even after everything we’ve lost, he’s still capable of this gentleness. And all three of them are still capable of surprising me.

“Why don’t you hate me?” The words spill out before I can stop them.

Killian looks up from the cat, his expression sharpening. “What?”

“I did to you what Ambrose just did to me.” My voice shakes. “I burned your club to the ground. I destroyed everything the three of you built. So why don’t you hate my fucking guts?”

“Do you want me to hate you?” Killian’s voice goes low and dangerous, and the cat skitters back under the bed.

“I want to understand.” I grip the towel tighter. “Everything I touch turns to shit. I got my own gang destroyed, got Atlas shot, got us tangled up with the Syndicate?—”

“Stop.” He rises in one fluid motion. “Is that really what you think? That you’re some kind of fucking curse?”

“Look around.” I gesture wildly. “Everything is gone. Just like your club. Just like?—”

“That’s not the same thing.” He crosses the room in two strides. “You didn’t destroy us. You freed us.”

“Bullshit.”

“What did we really have, anyway? A club that turned on us? Members who would rather follow Zoey than stay loyal?” His eyes burn into mine. “You showed us who our real enemies were.”

“When we had you captive,” Killian continues, backing me against the wall, “I wanted to break you. That’s what I do. It’s what I’ve always done.”

My breath catches. We don’t talk about those days often.

“But I couldn’t.” His voice roughens. “Every time I pushed you, every time I heard you scream, something inside me…” He breaks off, his jaw clenching so hard I can see the muscle jump.

“What?” I whisper.

“It fucking hurt.” He presses his forehead to mine. “And that’s never happened before. I’ve never cared before. Ever. Not with anyone. But hurting you? It was like cutting myself open.”

“Killian—”

“I’m a killer. A monster on the inside. I always have been. Ask anyone who thinks they know me.”

“That’s not true.”

“No?” His laugh is harsh. “You’ve seen what I’ve done to the people who’ve crossed us.”

“I also just saw you setting up a cat bed and buying premium kitty food.”

His hands frame my face, rough and gentle at once. “Only for my family.”

The word hits me like a punch to the gut. Family. That’s what we’ve become.

“I could have killed you that first night we held you captive,” he says, but there’s no heat in it. “Things would’ve been simpler.”

“Yeah?” I lean into his touch. “When did you know you couldn’t?”

His thumb traces my bottom lip. “When you kneed me and head-butted me and spat in my face. When you told me over and over to go fuck myself. And I realized there was a part of me that still wanted to let you go.”

“But why?” My voice catches. “Why couldn’t you hurt me?”

Killian steps back suddenly. Before I can process it, he’s walking out of the room. My heart slams against my ribs—did I push too far? Did I say too much?

Almost in a daze, I turn to follow him, but he’s already back with something in his hand.

A tattoo kit.

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