Page 44 of Until We Kiss

He tips closer. “I hope we sit next to each other on the plane.”

The ferry line is slammed, and I volunteer to wait, letting the guys wander around the shops along the pier. There are Clua trinkets and seashells, and farther down, an ice cream stand with a pink striped awning.

“Hey, Theo!” Carter’s voice booms from across the walkway. He waggles a silver keychain that looks like it has a whale on it.

“They have both our names, bro!” He’s so fucking exuberant. “I’m gonna buy this shit and give it to you! Like a penguin pebble. You can—‍” He turns and his bag slams into the keychain stand. It wobbles, and in slow-mo fashion, it seesaws and then tips, taking him down with it, silver keychains clattering, the entire stand crashing to the ground while the man I’m ridiculously in love with bellows, “Holy fuck!”

Silence fills the pier. My heart launches into my chest. I’m halfway to him when he jumps to his feet.

“It’s okay, people!” He raises the keychain above his head. “I’ve still got it.”

And the only thing I can think is:that one. That’s the guy I want.

It’s a rush after that. I get the tickets and then help pick up the rest of the keychains, getting them all on their correct hooks. Before we know it, the ferry horn echoes.

Carter grabs all the gummy bears and Twizzlers he bought from the shop, and we head toward the ferry, nearly the last ones.

A breeze wells off the water, bringing with it that unique ocean scent. I can still feel granules of sand between my toes. The sun warms my shoulders.

I stop walking.

Rory and Dorian walk ahead, but Carter turns.

I’m just standing there.

Ishouldbe walking.

But I just… don’t. I’m holding onto my luggage, my eyes roving over Carter and the ferry behind him. Rory and Dorian stop, turning to look at me in question.

“Theo?” Carter steps back.

Rory yells something, then they turn and head toward the ferry.

My throat tightens. My feet are stuck.

“You shouldn’t always have to take care of me,” I say.

Carter’s forehead wrinkles. “You’re just going through a hard time. You’d do it for me too.”

“Yes.” I nod. “But I should be able to do it for myself.”

In a montage of seconds, I see the future spinning out. Returning to IFU. That weight on my shoulders, pulling me down, Carter having to constantly pick me back up.

He would too. He’d pick me up, and he’d keep smiling, and he’d never complain.

“I can’t go.” I say it on an exhale. A wash of relief.

And a cold snap of fear.

What am I doing?

No fucking clue.

“What?” Carter blinks.

“I can’t go.” My bag drops to the ground, and I breathe—a great big inhale.

The lines in his forehead deepen. “You want to stay here?”

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