Page 43 of Until We Kiss

The sky’s still dark, the ocean the same color. It’s quiet—everything is clean, pristine again. I wonder if it’s because of those volunteers fromConserve Clua. I want to be part of something like that.

We walk along the beach, a foot away from the water, leaving footprints behind us.

It’s just us. Alone.

“Wanna sit?” Carter asks as the first streak of sunlight crests over the water.

We settle on the sand, flipping off our sandals and digging in our toes.

“I like it here,” I blurt out. Somehow, my head finds its way to Carter’s shoulder, his fingers squeezing mine tighter.

“Give me a fact,” he says.

“Vultures mate for life.” I lick my lips. “They’re partnership is cemented with a courtship ritual of strutting and head-bobbing.”

“I'm a fantastic strutter.” He wraps an arm around me. “Just in case you were curious.”

I smile. “I have no doubt.”

I dig my fingers under the sand, feeling the granules under my nails. The softness, the coolness below.

We watch the sunrise, streaking yellows and oranges across the sky. Lighting the tips of Carter’s hair and warming his eyes. We laugh. We talk about anything and everything. We appreciate beingalive. Being together.

And I think about happiness.

The morning goes too fast. Shit needs to get packed, and the Uber needs to be ordered. We’re on a countdown to get back to IFU.

It feels like shoving myself into a straitjacket. Endless gray and mostly failed classes and people who look at me with pity in their eyes. And maybe coming out? I dunno. I want to, but I don’t feel equipped to handle much of anything right now.

I shove dirty, sandy clothes into my bag, trying not to think too much about it, and then force the zipper closed.

But Carter will be there.

That’s the only thing that matters.

I glance over at him. He’s sitting on the lid of his suitcase, bouncing to get the zipper pulled shut.

I smile. “You need help with that?”

He scoots to one side, and the other side pops open. “Come sit on this with me.”

I drop next to him, and together we tuck everything in and get it zipped.

“I bought so many damn Clua t-shirts.” He shoves his bag into the hallway before shouting for Rory and Dorian. “I’m gonna wear them nonstop.”

Then we’re suddenly at the checkout counter. Dorian orders an Uber to take us to the ferry, and it’s all going so fast.

But Rory and Dorian will be back in Colorado too.

I’ve got them.

I’ve got Carter.

I can look into therapy. Read some books. I dunno.

Regardless, it’ll be fine. Allfine. I just need to?—

I reach a hand out, not sure what I’m doing, but then Carter is there, our fingers threading, his warm shoulder pressing against mine.

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