Page 21 of Until We Kiss

I swim to the Waverunner, a deep pain lacing into my knee as Dorian and I flip it upright and then crawl on.

For the rest of the day, Carter and I are two islands, with a gaping ocean between. And I think that later, when shit gets clearer, it’s gonna tear through me. It’s gonna hurt more than I ever guessed it would.

So, I try to get back into it—or at least part of me does—I laugh and I say the things I’m supposed to say.

I try to come back to myself.

But it’s like the person I come back to isn’t fully there. There’s a gap, and I’m tired of it. Ineedto fill it. I need to get back. Even if it’s only for a little while. Even if it’s temporary.

I came to Clua with a plan.

5

I can’t lookat Carter and do this.

I’m a selfish dick, so I avoid him. I keep Rory or Dorian between us. I look away from the faint shimmer of sand that dries on his shoulders. I ignore the pinch in my stomach when he calls me “bro.”

We return to the beach at the cusp of evening, and it’s like everything’s on fire. Music echoes from a stage, people wrestle in giant sumo suits and fly down slip and slides full of whipped cream.

I could see Carter doing all of it. Six months ago, I would have too.

But right now, I can’t.

I need to fill this fucking hole.

I head toward the Beach Hut. My toes curl into the sand as I go, my stomach heavy with that pit. I didn’t tell the guys I was leaving, I just went.

People are everywhere, the sun edging to the horizon, leaving everything in half shadows, neon necklaces and bracelets popping on.

The Beach Hut tent glows in the dropping sun. A line jigsaws out, and I step into it, my nerves ratcheting to pre-game levels.

A hand brushes my shoulder. “I was hoping to catch you.”

That accent. I turn and am plastered with Maxim’s deep brown eyes.

“Hi,” I say, kinda foolishly.

And… he keeps looking at me. He doesn’t seem bothered by the stretch of silence, but I’m getting antsy.

I clear my throat. “You texted me earlier.”

I guess he already knows that.

His lips twitch. “I did.”

“Okay.” I glance around, feeling outside of myself.

He leans in closer, something sweet like grenadine filling my nose. “You’re cute.”

You look cute bundled like that. Like a big pink worm.

Stop, Carter.

Maxim’s eyes flirt over my face. “What are you looking for?”

“I…” I swallow. He’s so fuckingdirect. “I’m not looking to…‍”

His brows rise, waiting for me to finish.

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