Page 2 of Until We Kiss

I guess it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if he didn’t.

I’ve kinda been a mess recently. And that’s an understatement.

Six months ago, everything in my life changed. In one second, one unexpected hit.

I used to be one guy. And I knew who that was too—quarterback for Indigo Falls University, heading to the NFL draft, solid and confident. Maybeedgingon cocky sometimes, although I didn’t know that then. I just thought that everything I’d worked for was coming straight at me, like it was meant to be.Iwas meant to be. I was sure, I was confident. I understood what the point of life was, and I was at the goddamn center of it.

Then at one of the first games of the season, Brody Hazlemacher slammed into me, and it all went to shit. Just like that. A broken tibia and fibula, ripped through my ACL, a complete fucking of my knee down to my ankle.

And then no more football. No more early morning practices, with all those endorphins bouncing around me. No more stepping onto the field, my cleats on the turf, that energy and excitement. No more playing for IFU, which I fuckingloved. No more NFL draft. No more certainty, no more confidence.

No moreme.

Now I’m just trying to sort out what happens next. What do you do after your entire life plan suddenly explodes? Everything you worked for is like a pebble tossed into the ocean and dragged out to sea—justgone.

And there’s nothing. Just this weight of disappointment and these moments of darkness, that come in waves. Where it just feels like everything is so bleak.

Fuck, I need to stop thinking.

I scrub at the side of my neck, breathing through the pressure that clumps in my chest. That pressure’s been getting hotter and tighter lately, crawling up my throat, leaving this taste that…. Shit, I can’t freak out here. Not trapped in this little seat with people all around me. I need to?—

Carter tips closer, his eyes moving around my face. “It’s all gonna be fine, Theo. Just wait and see. I think you’re gonna love it there.” He softens that big voice of his, the way he doessometimes when it’s just me and him. And I’m suddenly looking straight at him, my eyes on his, my heart thudding in my throat.

I swallow thickly. That spark of lightning is back, tickling around my shoulders and up the nape of my neck.

Is that weird? Should I be feeling that when my best friend’s looking at me?

Probably not.

Ignore it.

His eyes stay on mine. The smell of the pretzel snack he ate earlier wafts toward me along with the beachy scent of his deodorant. I don’t know why I kinda like that.

“Give me a fact, bro,” he says.

I blink at him. It’s this thing we do. I’m kinda obsessed withNaked Earth, this show about animals. I was just rewatching the one about African Elephants when we were waiting to board. I guess it relaxes me. I used to watch it before every game. And then I watched it all the time after my surgeries.

Carter was there for a lot of the ‘after’. My parents were so fucking disappointed that it was impossible to be around them. They didn’t say anything, tried to be supportive, but I could see the disappointment in their expression every time they looked at me. I couldfeelit in me.

Carter never looked at me like that.

“Theo?” he asks, in that soft ‘just us’ voice.

Find a fact, Theo.

“Butterflies can taste with their feet,” I say. “That's how they know where to lay their eggs.”

“Really? That’s badass.” He glances as his left foot, shoved out into the aisle. “But now my feet seem ridiculously boring. How cool would it be to taste with your feet?”

“Are you sure you’d want to taste the flavor of the insides of your shoes?”

“Good point.” He looks back at me, then brightens. “Although, we’d probably have flavored shoe inserts if that was the case.”

My lips lift, despite everything else. Despite that big, black hole that feels like it’s edging right on the sides of my vision. “Flavored shoe inserts. That’s pretty brilliant, dude.”

“I know, right!” His dimple pops. “Like hazelnut.”

“Peppermint,” I offer.

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