Page 12 of Until We Kiss

“About the bed,” he continues, tilting his head, eyes narrowing. “You’re uncomfortable. And I fucked it up. I’m sorry.”

I swallow, my throat dry. My voice is gonna crack, and it takes effort to push out a few words. “I’m not uncomfortable.”

“You don’t need to cover shit. I’d rather know. Just be straight with me. I can handle it.”

I still, my heart thumping, my mind churning.

Doeshe know? Does he really believe it was about the bed? Or is he giving me some kind of out? An excuse?

“I’m not uncomfortable.” I say. “I was just surprised.”And then I got hard for you in the shower.

And I dreamed. Wild dreams about you walking over here, bending down to grip my jaw and demanding that I open my mouth for you. And then you?—

The images come back. ThethingsI dreamed. They were beyond anything I’d thought I’d be into. Straight out of some kind of porn fantasy. He’d bent over me, his amber eyes on my blue ones. Opening his mouth, he spat a single stream of saliva into mine, getting me ready for his cock. He gripped my hair roughly and shoved all the way to the back of my throat, telling me…

I shiver and grip the blanket harder.

I don’t want to remember, but it all comes back anyway.

He was telling me… that I was perfect. That I was everything he wanted. That I wasenough. Despite how fucked up everything is. How fucked up I am right now. That I’m stillme.

And he did it all in that voice he uses when it’s just the two of us, the softer one that’s still somehow big, crowding out all the other errant thoughts so that there’s only Carter left.

I’d woken after that first dream, choking on my spit and shivering. Dick leaking all over the blanket and aching to fist myself and dive headfirst back into the fantasy.

“You’re so damn perfect, Theo. Everything is gonna be okay.”

And then when I fell onto my knees before him, he swept a hand into my hair, a strained whisper of, “I love the way you tongue my cock.”

Holy fuck—I can’t believe my dreams. Imaginary shit that will never happen.

Not from Carter. Not easygoing, cheerfulCarter. I mean, he’s sitting over there wearing board shorts with big yellow bananas all over them. He’s gonna be a kindergarten teacher for God’s sake. He’s not the guy who grabs your jaw and spits into your mouth, who tells you that you have the sexiest asshole he’s ever licked.

I bite down on my molars. I need to stop these thoughts.

“If you’re not uncomfortable…” He frowns thoughtfully. “Are you annoyed with me?"

“No.” I run a hand through my hair, pulling at the tangles. My fingers are shaking. “I’m not annoyed with you.”

He squeezes his thumb against his cup. “I just know that I can be kinda a lot sometimes. People get annoyed with me.”

My shoulders soften. “I swear I’m good,” I say. “You don’t annoy me, Carter. Not ever. And I’m the one who shouldapologize if I made you think you did anything wrong. You planned this entire trip, and I appreciate it so much.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” He hesitates, looking like he wants to say more. If he asks about the shower, I don’t know what I’ll say.

I reach for the cup. “Is this for me?”

He nods. “Yes.”

“Thanks, man.” I take a drink. “Oh, shit. You got me almond milk.”

A smile flips to his face, that dimple finally making an appearance. “You know, when penguins are friends, they give each other pebbles.”

“Uh, yeah.” Except that’s notentirelytrue. The penguins give rocks to their partners to help build a nest to protect the egg. It’s more than friendship. It’s courtship. And connection. And… love.

He nods at my cup. “But breakfast is so much freaking better.”

“Depends on if you’re a penguin or not.” I swallow another gulp, my forehead wrinkling. Where is he going with this? “Thanks.”

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