Page 9 of Fated to the Alien Rebel

Maeve squeezes my hand and lays her head on my shoulder. “Everything is going to work out. You’ll see.”

I really wish I had her confidence.

Chapter 5

Jodah

Nothing is different, and yet everything has changed. Kyler has helped me to slowly sit up and I am propped against a large stack of furs. From this position, I am able to see the four jagged wounds that mar my chest. But with them are the mating marks that are evidence I have been blessed by Deeka. I trace a finger along the mark on my side, nearest my hip, dragging the tip along the dark line that has been broken in four places.

My flesh has knit back together, but still there are four areas where the mating mark abruptly ends and then begins again. There is a shallow valley of disconnect between the lines. Is this why I do not feel as though I’m mated? Each time I have woken since yesterday, I have searched within me for my soul light. However, no matter where I have looked, it remains dark within me.

“Do you need some more burim root?” Kyler stands at the other side of the tent near where his supplies are stored.

“Not at this time. My pain is tolerable for the moment.” I’m tired of tasting the bitterness of the root.

He returns his attention back to whatever has him occupied. I have not seen Sage since the evening before. She was gone each time I woke, and something had me unable to ask where she was. I am not oblivious to the hurt she felt at my reaction, but I was still processing the fact that I was—am—mated. Finally, I can no longer hold my tongue. Perhaps Kyler will know the answer as to why my soul light remains dark.

“I do not feel mated.” Once the confession has passed my lips, I cannot take it back.

The healer glances over at me with a blank expression. He sets down the bag in his hands and approaches. “What do you mean?”

With a sweeping hand, I gesture to the mating marks along my body. “These decorate my skin. My soul light should have ignited, but it has not.”

Kyler’s eyes widen sharply. “You have no soul light?”

“I do not know if I do not have one or if it has just failed to shine. I have been searching within me since Sage told me we were mates, but there is nothing.”

He remains silent for several beats. “I have never heard of any Tavikhi whose soul light has not shined brightly when a mating occurs. Although, I have come to understand that the humans do not have one, which means we must shareours with them. But if yours is not lit, I am uncertain what this means in regards to the bond. It is troubling.”

This is the first I am hearing about the humans lacking a soul light. “I did not realize the humans did not have one.”

Kyler nods with a faraway expression. “From what I have heard from Zander, the females must fall in love with their mate. They are not guided to it by the goddess.”

“Does this mean that if I am to remain mated to Sage, we must fall in love with each other?”

Again, it appears as though I have shocked the healer. “I do not understand. If you are to remain mated? The mate bond cannot be broken. Not even by death. We do not know yet what will happen to the human females if their mate dies. Will they too join the goddess as our people do?”

We have been taught from birth that the mating bond is so strong between two Tavikhi that death itself is unable to break it. They travel together into the lands of Deeka. It has always been this way. “And yet, I do not feel the mate bond. So if I do not feel it, then it can be severed without consequence.”

“Is that what you want? To sever the bond with Sage?”

Is that what I want? I do not know. I do not know her. Tavikhi’s souls recognize each other which is how they know they are fated. Except mine is dark and quiet. “I am unsure.”

Kyler studies my mating marks. “I am ten warm seasons older than you and have seen many more warriors blessedwith their mates. It is something I have wished for since I was a kit. You have been given a gift. Just because you may not feel the bond now, does not mean you will not ever feel it. And just because your soul light may not have ignited, that does not mean you cannot grow to feel affection—love—for your mate.” He lifts his gaze to me. “If I were as lucky as you, it would not matter to me what I did or did not feel in that moment. Because I trust that Deeka has a plan for me, and I will follow wherever it leads. There is nothing I would not give to be blessed with what you have. Which is a mate who refused to leave your side at the risk of her own health. Who did not sleep and barely ate for seven turns of the sun while she watched over you. No matter how much her tribe sisters tried to persuade her, she would not leave this tent. Soul light or not, you have a mate who cares for you. It is what all of us want.”

Turning his back on me, Kyler returns to his supply table. Guilt fills me at his words. They were not harsh, but they were the truth that I needed to hear. Perhaps this is some sort of test. I have a sudden need to speak to Sage. I would like to get to know her. And maybe with that knowing, a light will turn on. My marks indicate she is my mate. It is only fair that I give a bond the chance to grow between us.

As though I have conjured her with my will, she steps into the healer’s tent. There are still smudges beneath her eyes, but they do not appear as dark as they had the previous turn of the sun. Sage wears clean coverings, and her fire-colored hair has been tamed. She pauses at seeing me upright and there is a flash of relief across her face. Her gaze darts to Kyler who glances over at her arrival.

“Greetings, Sage. You look rested. Did you eat, yet?”

She nods. “Maeve and Zara brought me some kokkra.”

“That is good.” Kyler shifts his gaze to me and back to her. “I need to check on one of the elders. They have developed a cough. I will return later.”

He grabs a bottle from his stock and then he is gone, leaving me with the female who is supposed to be my mate. An uncomfortable silence settles between us. I speak often with some of the elders and other mated females, but this is one of the first times I have exchanged more than a few words with one of the human females. Alone at least. What do we speak on?

“You’re feeling better, I hope?” Sage is the one to break it although she does not come any closer.

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