Page 46 of Fated to the Alien Rebel

Jodah bends to kiss me and pauses briefly before loosening his hold and walking out the door as well. That weird glow I haven’t stopped seeing dims just slightly once he’s gone. I rub at my chest where it feels like it originates from. Which reminds me to ask Kyler about it. I walk to the bed Sorin occupied while he was here and remove the wadded up furs he used.

“Can I talk to you about something?” I glance over at my friend and boss.

He sets down the clay pot he’d been holding and turns fully toward me. “Of course.”

I take a deep breath, because I know what I’m thinking is utterly impossible. “What does a soul light look like? Or feel like?”

Kyler’s brow bones shift and tilt down at the inner corners. “Did Jodah’s ignite?”

“No. At least he hasn’t said it has, so I’m going to assume that means it’s still absent.” I clutch the furs against me, fisting them tightly.

“I can only tell you what others have explained to me,” he says. “From my understanding, it is a glowing warmth that centers here.”He fists the middle of his chest. “And radiates outward from there. Not just within the body, but outside of it as well, although it is only visible to the Tavikhi it belongs to. We believe it is the essence of Deeka’s love inside each of us.”

“Does it ever shine so bright to be blinding?” I know Jodah had said both people’s soul lights merge into one, but Idon’t understand how. Except if they’re both emitting the same blinding light, then, I assume the brightness is what melds them. My chest has gotten hot even if it didn’t burn me.

“It is possible.” Kyler cocks his head and his tail swishes. “What is this about, Sage?”

I rub at the same spot along my sternum. “I know what I’m about to say can’t be true, but I think—somehow—I have a soul light.”

He rocks back and his eyes widen. “By the goddess. How can that be?”

“I don’t know.” I throw up my hands. “I’m probably imagining the entire thing, but…but it feels real. Everything you’ve described is what I’ve been seeing and feeling almost since Jodah woke up. The first time I felt something was when we were working on him as soon as Benham brought him in here. It’s only gotten more intense since.”

My gaze grows unfocused and I stare off into nothing. “Something happened last night. Something only I saw. It was like the sun was inside Jodah’s tent. And the whole inside of my body was hot. So hot I should have been in pain, but I wasn’t. It’s like I was on fire but wasn’t getting burned.”

I plop down on the stump between the platforms and lift my gaze to meet Kyler’s. “All this time, I’ve thought I was imagining it. Seeing things that weren’t there. But now? Now I’m not so sure. Except I know it’s not possible. Humans don’t have soul lights. The only thing I can think of is that it’s a coping mechanism I’ve come up withbecause Jodah doesn’t have one. So, my mind made it up to make me feel better. Like I wasn’t being punished.”

Kyler walks forward until he pauses in front of me. He squats and lays a hand on my knee. “Punished for what?”

It’s not any easier to tell my friend than it had been Jodah, but he deserves to know the truth. “Back on Earth, a man hurt me. Tried to do something terrible to me, and…and I killed him. It wasn’t on purpose, but it doesn’t change the fact that I caused his death.”

“Does Jodah know of this?” he asks quietly.

“I told him last night.”

“I do not know what deity humans worship—if any. But I do know that Deeka does not judge a person on a single event, especially one in the past. She is kind and forgiving. She can see into your heart and know that it is pure. Deeka is also not one to punish her children no matter what they did. That is not what a true and loving deity does. She will only love you. I believe she blessed you with a soul light so you would feel that love within your heart,” Kyle says. “Let go of the guilt and the fear. Neither of them are serving you.”

He squeezes my knee and stands. I glance up and nod. He returns the gesture and then leaves me to go back to the supply table and whatever it was he was doing when the conversation started. I sit there going over everything he said. Is it possible he’s right? That Deeka gave me a soul light because she loves me? Except that still doesn’t explain why Jodah doesn’t have his.

Chapter 23

Jodah

My muscles ache and burn from sparring, but in a good way. In the way that tells me I am gaining my strength back. I only had a few twinges of pain along the scars covering my chest. Iglance at Benham as we walk to where his mate waits for him at the edge of the arena wrapped in the luani fur he gifted her. He is proud of all the scars he carries.

“They are a sign of my strength. That I am a worthy opponent,” he always says.

I run my hands along the four markings and marvel at them. I too am a strong and worthy opponent. The luani tried to kill me, but he did not succeed.

“Thank you for training with me.” Benham is the onlytribe brother who has not been fearful of injuring me farther. I am grateful for that as well.

“We will need all our warriors fully prepared if the threat the Njeri left with us is to be believed. According to Kala, they rival the Krijese in ruthlessness. We cannot let our guard down for a moment,” he cautions.

Now, more than ever, it is important for me to keep up my strength. The cold dust has not stopped falling which will make training more difficult, but will build our—my—endurance. It is not easy to maneuver through the depths of it so I must work harder. Once more I glance at Benham. Mating has changed him. He is less abrupt and more patient. Less silent and more involved in the tribe. All because of his mate.His mating marks are nearly as dark as the wood of the fiku trees. One day, mine will be as well. They darken more every turn of the sun.

Aside from the elders and Kyler, Benham is one of the oldest members of our tribe, although he is only eight warm seasons older than me. He is someone I have always gone to for advice and when I have questions. I have stopped worrying about my soul light and whether it will ever ignite. It no longer matters. There is no doubt in my mind that Sage is my mate. The one true being that is meant for me. Still, I do wonder if I am the only one ever affected by this.

“Have you ever heard of any Tavikhi not having a soul light? One that never shined even after their mating marks appeared?” Up until now, I have been hesitant to speak of my affliction with anyone besides Kyler. Even Nene does not know my soul light remains dark. I did not wantanyone thinking Sage was not worthy of being my mate, nor I of her.

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