Page 80 of Shea's Hero

So I told him to stick with the plan, even though it killed me to say it. And then we hugged and made love and after, I called my counselor to ask for an emergency session. Then I called Jade later and talked to her, too.

By the end of it, I didn’t exactly feel awesome about everything, but I felt stronger again, and more than a little proud of myself for doing what I couldn’t four years ago.

“Shea, are you ready to go?” Oliver appears in the bedroom doorway just as I’m pulling my cardigan on. He has two travel mugs of coffee in one hand, and his car keys in the other. “Not that I’m trying to rush you,” he adds, “but if we’re going to get to White Plains in time for your meeting…”

“Yes. I’m ready.” I give myself a final inspection in the standing mirror beside the dresser. Despite how unsettled I feel on the inside, fortunately, my outside appearance looks unruffled and professional.

Oliver pockets his keys and walks over to me, pulling me into a one-armed hug. “You look beautiful. You’re going to knock their socks off.”

“Thanks.” I go up on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. His short beard tickles my lips, a sensation I never imagined liking before Oliver, but now can’t get enough of. He uses this special oil to make the hair soft so it won’t irritate my skin when we kiss, and it smells faintly of oak and citrus, a scent I love.

As we leave the bedroom, I catch his hand, threading my fingers between his. “I know it’s not ideal, having to drive to White Plains with everything going on, but this prospective client could bring in a lot of money for the company. And it’s a big deal that my boss is letting me take the lead on the project.”

“I know.” He casts an admiring smile at me. “It’s a big deal. And it’s not a problem. We’ll be in White Plains by eight-thirty, with plenty of time before your meeting at nine. Once it’s over, we’ll head back here so I can drop you off before heading to work myself.”

In the living room, I pause to glance around for my purse. Now that we’re staying at Blade and Arrow, all the spots I’ve gotten used to putting things in Oliver’s house have changed. We don’t have a console table by the front door to leave my purse, or a handy rack beneath it to store our shoes. It’s not that the client apartment is bad—far from it—but it’s different. And in the two days we’ve been here, I still haven’t gotten used to it.

“Here.” Oliver snags my purse from the back of the dining room chair and hands it to me. “I’m guessing that’s what you were looking for?”

“You read my mind.” I smile at him, meeting his gaze. And for a second, everything else just dissolves. The worry about this plan, the itchy feeling of being someplace unfamiliar, anxiety about making a good impression at work… none of it feels as important as just being here with the man I love.

“I love you,” I blurt out.

His face softens. “I love you, too.”

Then he sets the travel mugs on the dining room table and hugs me, his strong arms wrapping me in his embrace. His lips press to the top of my head, his breath whispering across my hair as he says, “I’m so proud of you, Shea. I always knew you were strong, but watching you over the last few weeks… you’re so incredibly brave.”

I snort in disagreement. “I’d hardly call myself brave.You’rebrave. The guys on the B and A team are. Niall is. But me? I’m average.”

“No.” Oliver gently takes my arms and sets me away from him. “You are brave. Not just for the obvious things, like fightingback at the Hop-less Horseman and at your house, which were pretty badass, I have to say. But for facing all the other stuff, too. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, before all this, and especially now. But all through it, you’ve been so incredibly strong. Sticking with all the things that help you, like counseling and yoga and pilates. Talking to Niall and Jade about what’s worrying you. Talking to me. And even though I said I’d bail on this whole plan, you told me to do it, even though it scares you. Shea?That’swhat bravery is.”

Oh.

My eyes burn.

“Oll.”I pull a hand away to wave at my face. “You’re going to make me cry!”

Panic washes across Oliver’s face. “Don’t cry.”

Sniffing against the prickling in my nose, I retort, “Then don’t say such sweet things.”

“Um?” His forehead wrinkles. “I thought that was a good thing?”

“It is.” Framing his face, I give him a hard kiss on the lips. “What you said? It was wonderful. Which makes me all teary.” I grab the travel mugs and hand one to him. With a wobbly smile, I add, “And I can’t show up at this meeting with pink eyes. That’s not quite the capable look I’m going for.”

“I suppose not.” Oliver grasps my hand. “So I guess I’ll save all the sweet stuff for when you’re not about to go to a very important meeting. How does that sound?”

As we head towards the front door, I tug him to a stop and turn to face him. “I love it when you say sweet things anytime. I’ll nevernotwant to hear them.”

But once we’re on the road, Oliver does a wonderful job shifting the conversation to simpler, less tear-inducing subjects. Like the barbeque Blade and Arrow is hosting next weekend out on their amazing patio, which I’m definitely looking forward to.Even though it’s not the Fourth yet, Finn’s going to break out some fireworks, Leo and Georgia are arranging for a bunch of games, and a bunch of Oliver’s friends—well, my friends now—are coming, too.

As Oliver navigates along the winding back road that takes us from Blade and Arrow to the main thoroughfare into White Plains, I reach over to touch his leg, loving the flex of his thigh muscle under my hand. For a moment, I’m tempted to move my hand higher, but then I think,maybe it’s not a great idea to do that while he’s driving. Especially if I surprise him and he has to explain how a police officer ran off the road for no reason.

So instead, I ask, “Who’s supposed to be coming to the barbeque again?”

What I don’t ask is,will everything be over by then? Can you promise me for the hundredth time that you’ll be there and not in the hospital, terribly injured after this whole bait slash trap thing goes south?

Not that I think it will. But my stupid brain can’t stop wandering into places I’d rather it didn’t.

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