Page 79 of Shea's Hero

“A trap,” I finish. “It’s the best way. My guess is they want Shea to use as leverage. But if I make myself accessible, vulnerable, even…”

Leo nods, his eyes lighting in understanding. “Set up a trap at your place, possibly. At night. Make sure it’s obvious you’re home alone.”

“That wouldn’t be enough,” Cole says. His forehead creases in thought. “Oliver’s trained. And with all the security… What if we send you on a trip? Or we could?—”

Shea jumps to her feet. “No way. NO.” Tears well up in her eyes. “Oll. You can’t. Just let them take you? Let them hurt you? No.”

“Honey.” I pitch my voice so it’s low and soothing. “You know the kind of skills I have. I can handle this. And I would have backup. I’d wear a tracker, like you have.” As Shea touches one of the earrings Blade and Arrow gave to her—each with a built-in tracker and alert system—I add, “It wouldn’t be that dangerous.”

Well. Maybe a little dangerous. But if it ends this, it’s more than worth it.

“Oliver…” She sags back into her chair. “I don’t doubt you, but what if there are a bunch of them? You’re only one person. What if they do something before backup arrives?”

“We’ll plan for all of it. And I’ll be armed.”

Shea stares at me, her face twisting as she tries to hold back her tears. “I can’t lose you. Ican’t.”

Oh.

My heart.

“Youwon’t.” I take her hands in mine as I hold her gaze. “I promise.”

CHAPTER 17

SHEA

I wish so badly I could go back in time.

It’s not the first time I’ve had that thought. Like most people, there are things I wish I could go back and change.

I can’t count how many times I wished I could go back and tell my parents not to take that trip to visit my aunt out in Syracuse. Convince them to go another weekend. Then my parents would still be alive. They’d be around to meet their grandchild. They’d get to meet Oliver.

After my massive screw-up with Oliver, I beat myself up dozens—maybe hundreds—of times, wishing I’d been honest with him, that I’d told him how bad things were instead of just breaking up with him.

Now? I wish I could go back to three days ago and do something so Oliver never answered Cole’s call. Sex in the shower. Sex in the kitchen. Maybe I could have convinced him to take a spontaneous trip out to Texas to visit Niall. If I’d said I was desperate to see my brother, Oliver would have made it happen. And he never would have let me go alone. So we’d both be out in Texas, and this terrible plan wouldn’t be happening.

If we were in Texas, Blade and Arrow could come up with something different. A plan that doesn’t involve Oliver using himself as bait.

Oliver keeps telling me it’ll be okay. That he’s more than capable of dealing with this Sergey guy, and any of the other men working with him.

“I’ve dealt with people like this,” he reassured me the other day, after I pleaded with him to change his mind. “So have the guys at B and A. We know what we’re doing.”

Was it the most mature thing to do, begging him to back out of this risky plan? No.

But I’m scared. It’s not that I don’t think Oliver is skilled, but there’s so much we still don’t know. Like who’s actually behind all of this. Could Sergey be the mastermind? Or is he just hired help, like Oliver thinks he is? How many people are involved? The three people we know of so far? Or are there more? Is this the work of one powerful individual or a shadowy organization?

When I let myself think about it, I’m closer to being triggered than I’ve been in years.

It would be so easy to slip back into it, to regain control another way.

But that’s dangerous, too. And I’m not letting myself regress after the years of progress I made. Not when I’ve done so much to be brave. Not when Oliver is risking everything for me. Not when I have so much to live for.

So this time, I talked to Oliver about it. It sucked, because I know it made him feel guilty. But despite the pained look on his face after I confessed I was struggling, he hugged me and said, “Thank you for telling me. I know it was hard. But we’ll figure it out. Together.”

Then he offered me what I thought I wanted. He offered to back out. “If it’s hurting you like this, Shea, I won’t do it. It’s your decision.”

And of course, once he put it like that, there really wasn’t a choice. If Oliver truly thinks this is the best option, I have to trust him. Just like I want him to trust me that I won’t freak out and leave him again.

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