Page 60 of Shea's Hero

“Of course,” I reply brightly. At Oliver’s concerned glance, I give him a reassuring smile. “I’d love to.”

Mostly.

But for the first few minutes in the kitchen, the conversation is casual. Easy. Maya asks me about my job, and my house in White Plains, and how excited I must be to have my best friend married to my brother. “Not that I ever wanted Scarlett to marry Oliver,” she adds quickly. “He thinks of her as a little sister. But it must be nice, though.”

I finish cutting the loaf of Italian bread before I reply, “Yeah, it is. Because now she’s my sister for real. And she makes Niall so happy. I always thought they should be together, but they were both too stubborn to let it happen. And then they had a fight…”

About me.

Jade and Niall didn’t talk for years because of me and my secret.

Maya sets her glass of wine on the counter. Her forehead wrinkles. “Are you okay?”

I could gloss over this. Avoid the topic completely.

But I want things to be right between me and Maya. And I don’t know if she’ll ever trust me not to hurt Oliver again if she doesn’t know everything.

So I take a deep breath and turn to face her. “I want to tell you about the time Oliver and I broke up.”

“You don’t have to, Shea. It’s none of my business.”

“It is, partly. Because he’s your brother. And I want you to know… I wasn’t making good choices back then. Breaking up with Oliver, it was the worst decision I ever made.”

Her tone gentles. “But you’re working it out. And everyone makes decisions they regret later. Trust me.”

“True.” I reach for my own glass of wine and take a sip for liquid courage. “But back then… I wasn’t in a good place. I… I had an eating disorder. It got really bad during the last year we were together. He was away so much, it was easy to hide it. So he never knew how sick I got.”

“Oh, Shea.” Empathy darkens her gaze. “I’m so sorry.”

“It got out of control,” I continue. “And I didn’t want anyone to know. Not Niall, or Jade, or Oliver. I was ashamed. Embarrassed. It’s not an excuse, but I felt like a failure. And I looked so awful, just… terrible, really. At first, I didn’t want to worry Oliver. And later, I couldn’t bear for him to know what I did to myself. So… I broke up with him. I never explained. Never saw him even when he asked.”

Sniffing against the prickles in my nose, I add, “By the time I realized how badly I’d screwed everything up, it was months later. Oliver was angry with me, for good reason. I just thought… it was too late. That I’d lost my chance. That I’d have to deal with the consequences of what I did.”

“Shea.” Maya moves towards me and pulls me into a hug. “I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been. But it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You know that, right?”

“Yes.” Most of the time. “Now I do.”

“But then you saw him at the Hop-less Horseman.”

“Yeah. I was scared when I heard he was coming. All I could think about was how he must have resented me. But he was so kind, and there was just… this… spark. That’s when I knew I had to try. See if there was a chance.”

A smile curves her lips. “Well, from my perspective, it looks like there’s more than a chance.” Then her voice dips conspiratorially. “There hasn’t been anyone else, Shea. For Oliver, I mean. Not since you. And as his sister, I can say with confidence, I’ve never seen him happier than when you’re together.”

“So you’re not angry with me for hurting him?”

Several seconds pass, long enough for a small panic to start inside me, my mind jumping to the worst.

“No, Shea.” Maya hugs me again. “I wasn’t angry before. And I’m not now.” She pauses. “Sometimes relationships need to go through tough times to make them stronger. Maybe before wasn’t the right time for you two, but now it is.”

A bubble of happiness expands inside my chest. “That’s what I think, too.”

“So, how did you think dinner went?”

Oliver punches in the last number to alarm the security system, waiting for the little beep to indicate it’s armed before turning to look at me. “I think it went really well.” His gazesweeps my face appraisingly. “But what about you? Did you enjoy it?”

“I really did.”

“Good.” With a soft smile, he takes my hand as we walk into the living room, doing that little thumb-rubbing thing across my palm that I absolutely love. “I know you were nervous. Did it get better?”

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