Page 58 of Shea's Hero

My heart.

Only Shea can make it feel this way.

“I can’t wait, either.”

And in my head, the words I’m still waiting to say.

I still love you. I never stopped.

CHAPTER 13

SHEA

“Are you sure you’re up for this?”

As we head down the path from the driveway to the entrance of the Blade and Arrow building, Oliver glances down at me with concern. “I told Maya it might be too soon,” he continues, “so if you want to go home, that’s okay.”

Although I’ve reassured him I’m fine at least half-a-dozen times so far today, I can hardly blame Oliver for being worried. Considering I was a nervous wreck at our meeting here just two days ago, evenIwas a little ambivalent to say yes to Maya’s invitation for dinner.

When Oliver shared the invitation with me yesterday, he couched it by saying, “It’s just an idea, Shea. But it’s absolutely fine if you’re not ready. We can schedule dinner with Maya and Cole another night. They’ll understand.”

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little uneasy about it. Partly because I can’t help associating this place with the stressful stuff I had to talk about, but also because the place itself is a little imposing—this enormous brick building with black metal fencing that rivals what you’d see at a government facility, complete with dozens of cameras and sensors all along the top.

In normal circumstances, something like this wouldn’t bother me at all. When we were together before, Oliver was able to get me in to see part of the CIA headquarters and I didn’t think it was the least bit intimidating. I thought it was cool. Impressive. And definitely not scary.

But in my defense, I’ve been a bit on edge the last couple of weeks, so it doesn’t take quite as much to rattle my nerves.

It also might have something to do with spending time with Maya.

Despite Oliver’s reassurances, I still can’t help worrying that she’s harboring resentment towards me. That she doesn’t approve of Oliver being with me again. And honestly, I understand. If it was Niall who’d been dumped unceremoniously without explanation, I’d be pretty pissed at his ex, too.

Not that he would. Jade and Niall are meant for each other. But in the hypothetical situation, I’d be worried about Niall getting hurt again.

Which is why I said yes to dinner tonight. I want to reassure Maya that I’m serious about Oliver. That I care about him deeply and have no intention of hurting him. And I can’t very well do that if I hide out at Oliver’s house, even if he’d be completely okay with it.

Will I tell Maya the truth about what happened back then? Eventually, I will. As for tonight? I guess I’ll have to see how the evening goes.

But for now, I want Oliver to have a nice time with his sister and brother-in-law without worrying about bringing me here. I want him to see that I can get along with Maya like I used to—in the old days, whenever she’d come to visit or we’d visit her, we all had a great time. I really liked Maya, and I think she liked me.

Until I broke Oliver’s heart, that is. Now, I’m not so sure.

In the past, I’d swallow back my concerns and insist I wasn’t nervous at all. But this time around, I’m really working onexpressing myself better, so I squeeze Oliver’s hand as I reply, “I’m a little nervous. But it’s manageable. And I’m really looking forward to this. Spending time with Maya. Getting to know Cole better. And meeting Clara, finally.”

He holds my gaze for a moment. Then he releases my hand to wrap his arm around me, gently tugging me into his side. “I understand being nervous. But I promise, Maya isn’t angry with you. And Cole… you met him. He’s a great guy. I couldn’t pick a better man to be with my sister.”

“I know they are. And I’m sure I’ll be fine once we’re there, talking, eating…” Pausing, I give him a bright smile. “Plus, I’m really excited to see Clara in person. She just turned one, right?”

“Yeah.” Affection softens his gaze. “Two months ago. But she’s so smart, you’d think she’s older. She knows tons of words, and she’s already running all over the place, driving Maya and Cole crazy.”

Aww. Hearing Oliver talk about his niece like that makes me all gooey inside.

“I can’t wait to see her,” I reply. “From the pictures, she looks just like Maya.”

“She does.” Oliver presses the intercom by the back door and waves at the security camera. “And they both have my mom’s nose. Which is pretty cool.” He sobers. “I wish my parents could have met Clara.”

“But they’re watching over her.” Swallowing against the lump in my throat, I tell him the same thing I told Niall when he shared his regret that our parents would never get to see his child. “That’s what I think. That my parents are still here, keeping an eye on things. They’re not missing out. They get to see everything.”

“Shea.”Emotion thickens his voice. “I love that.”

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