Page 29 of Shea's Hero

I need to fix this. Somehow.

Once I drive into the garage and turn off the car, I grab my phone from the console.

And I send a text.

I’m really sorry. I don’t like how we left things. Can I please see you again?

CHAPTER 7

SHEA

It has to be a good sign that he’s coming over.

Right?

After Oliver’s apologetic text last night, I don’tthinkhe’s headed here to berate me. Not given how eager he seemed to see me, even suggesting that he stop by the next day if I’d let him. And once I got past the initial shock from his message—it was the last thing I expected after how things went between us—of course I said yes.

I had to.

Even though I knew it could make me feel even worse in the end, it was impossible to say no.

Seeing Oliver again made me realize just how badly I miss him.

I thought I was happy before. Or at the very least, content. For the last four years, I’ve built a comfortable life. A safe life. And I told myself it was enough.

But then I saw Oliver. Talked to him. Felt his achingly familiar touch. I could smell the cologne he still uses, an intoxicating blend of cedarwood and citrus and amber. I was reminded how, when we talk, he looks at me like I’m the mostimportant woman in the world. For a second, I even thought I saw a flicker of desire in his eyes.

Now I have confirmation of something I’ve tried to deny for years.

I still love him. So much.

I wanted to believe my counselors when they told me eventually the pain would subside, and that I’d find someone else when the time was right. That I didn’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. That maybe Oliver and I weren’t meant to be together.

For four years, I tried to convince myself it was the truth.

It wasn’t. It still hurts to think about what happened back then, and not a dull kind of ache, but a deep wound that’s never healed. I’ve never been happier than I was with Oliver. And I’ve never met anyone who could come close to replacing him in my heart.

I know I screwed things up beyond repair between us.

But after hearing Nora’s story, it brings a glimmer of hope that maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Oliver can truly forgive me and we can have some sort of relationship again.

But there’s the crux of it. The big question, the one that kept me awake half of last night—what do Ireallyhope for?

Following each other on social media again? Impersonal but friendly conversation on the rare occasions we see each other? Maybe a brief text for Christmas and birthdays?

Faced with the option of not having Oliver in my life at all, I’d pick any of those. But deep down, in my heart of hearts, I know what I really want.

I want another chance.

If only…

This time, I wouldn't mess up. I wouldn’t hide things from Oliver because I’m ashamed to tell him the truth. I’d be stronger.

No. Iamstronger.

Strong enough to tell Oliver the truth and accept whatever happens from there?

I think so.

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