“I’m good, Shea.” Nora opens the passenger side door and gestures for me to get in, which feels a little weird, but I guess it goes with the whole bodyguard slash protection thing. “And it’s no problem bringing you to work. It’s just a quick trip from B and A.”
The car is quiet for a minute as Nora pulls out of my driveway and maneuvers her way through the winding roads of my development. Once we’re on Lake Street, headed south into White Plains, where my office is, she glances over at me again, compassion in her gaze. “You know, it’s okay to not be fine.”
“I know,” I reply quickly, trying to keep my tone light. “But really, what do I have to complain about? A bruise? An upgraded security system?”
She pauses for a moment before answering. “I know we don’t know each other well. And I’m not trying to put my nose whereit’s not welcome. But Niall’s a good friend of mine, like family, really, so that extends to you, too.”
“He always said such great things about all of you. Especially you, Nora. About how strong you are. So determined.”
A small smile lifts her lips. “Determined, yes. Strong? I tried to be. But no one can be strong all the time. No matter who they are.” After a beat, she adds, “What you did the other night? Fighting off those men? That was really impressive, Shea.”
My cheeks warm, but it’s the uncomfortable kind of blush, like I’m being complimented on something I don’t deserve. Turning to look out the side window, I reply, “I didn’t really think about it like that. Just… Jade was there. And you know what she went through. I couldn’t…”
“I know.” We slow to a stop at a traffic light, and Nora scans the cars around us. Apparently satisfied that no one is about to leap from their vehicle and accost us, she returns to the conversation. “It doesn’t matter what the reason is. What matters is you stepped up. Protected Jade. Elle. Yourself.”
“I guess.” But I don’t feel very impressive. I feel weak and sad and guilty and… lonely.
“Shea.” Nora’s voice gentles. “You can tell me to butt out. But… Maya mentioned something. About you and Oliver.”
My stomach squinches into a knot. “Yeah. We used to date. Years ago.”
“That must have been tough, then. Seeing him, especially after everything that happened that night.”
My first instinct is to deny it. Tell Nora it wasn’t a big deal. But.
The pain inside me keeps getting bigger, heavier, and more suffocating. And Nora’s so nice, and I remember Niall telling me how she and her husband Jackson went through a bad breakup before getting back together…
“It was hard,” I admit. “We hadn’t spoken in years. And seeing him like that, all upset, not at my best…”
“I’m sure he wasn’t thinking about that.” Accelerating through the green light, Nora glances at the map on the dashboard before continuing, “He was probably just glad you were okay.”
I let out a short laugh. “Maybe in the moment he was. But after…” Sorrow rises up again, making my nose prickle. “I don’t deserve his concern, Nora. Not after what I did.”
In profile, her lips press into an unhappy line. Her jaw sets. Spotting my office building just up on the right, she signals, then executes the most perfect parallel parking job I’ve ever seen. Once she puts the car in park, she turns to me with a solemn expression. “That’s what I thought about Jackson. Years ago, I hurt him badly. And I never explained why. I didn’t think I deserved to be with him. And the guilt…”
“But you’re together. Married. So you worked it out.”
“Yes, we did. But we lost years because I was too afraid to tell him the truth.”
Ouch. It’s painfully close to my own story. But Niall wouldn’t have told her. Not about that. Neither would Jade. So it’s just a strange coincidence.
“Anyway.” Nora glances at the clock. “I don’t want to keep you from getting to work on time.” As she grabs the key fob, she adds, “Wait for me to come around. I’ll walk you inside.”
As she bustles me into the office building, all business again, I’m certain the conversation is over. That I’ll have yet another thing to think about instead of the job I’m here to do. But just before I head to the elevator, she touches my arm. “I’ll just say this. I saw Oliver’s face when he came into the Hop-less Horseman. His expression when he saw you. Whatever happened between you two, he definitely still cares about you.”
All through my morning, that last part keeps spinning around in my head.
I saw his face. His expression when he saw you.
He still cares about you.
And then what Nora revealed about her relationship with Jackson.
As I sit through my meeting, listening to the client outline his expectations and the target audience and how long he wants each informational module to be, my mind keeps wandering back to it.
I didn’t think I deserved to be with him. We lost years because I was too afraid to tell him the truth.
It’s like she reached into my head and pulled out my own thoughts.