Page 19 of Shea's Hero

Stop. Do not continue with that statement. Stopping by to see Shea is one thing. But saying I haven’t stopped thinking about her is verging on obsessive and strange.

“It’s been… a little weird, now that Niall and Jade aren’t here.” Her teeth dig into her full lower lip. “So… I’m glad you came by…” Trailing off, her cheeks go pink. “Not that I want you here just to be a stand-in. I just…”

“It’s fine. I get it.”

Shea opens her mouth to speak, but clamps it shut before anything comes out. The flush in her cheeks grows deeper.

It feels like we’re balanced on a tightrope, each of us at opposite ends. The wrong word, the wrong move, and we both fall, getting hurt all over again.

If I were smart, I’d leave.

I’d remind myself of how much it hurt when Shea cut me out of her life, refusing to answer my calls or even see me when I went to her, hoping to work things out.

I’d think about how shitty I felt standing at her door, flowers in hand, hearing her tell me over the intercom,“It’s over, Oliver. Just go home.”

But then I look at her, and my heart has a different idea.

It’s right on the tip of my tongue to suggest ordering something for dinner. Offer to stay for a couple of hours, just to keep Shea company.

But of course, just as I’m about to ask, her phone rings.

Shea casts an apologetic look at me. “Sorry. It’s Niall calling. I just want to make sure he got home okay. And that Jade’s feeling alright.”

“Of course.” It’s probably better this way. “I’ll head out. Let you talk to Niall.”

“Wait.” She grabs the phone and says, “Niall. Can you hang on one second?” Then she glances at me. “I won’t be long. If you want to stay…”

“It’s fine.” Standing, I take a few steps towards the door. “I don’t want you to feel rushed.”

“Oll… I don’t want you to feel like?—”

“It’s fine. Really.” Forcing a smile, I continue, “Don’t worry about it, Shea. I’m sure Niall’s worried about you and wants to talk.”

Her nose wrinkles as she holds the phone to her chest, muffling it. “Healwaysworries.”

“That’s what brothers do.”

She jumps up from the couch and follows me over to the door. “Well. If you have to go.” A shadow moves across her gaze. “Thank you for coming over.”

I grasp the doorknob, self-preservation mode in full effect. But I pause to say, “Call me if you need anything, okay? Do you still have my number? Do you need it again?”

In a small voice, Shea replies, “I still have your number.”

“Okay.” I force another bright smile. “Lock the doors after me. Right away. Okay?”

“I will.”

As the door shuts behind me, my breath comes out in a heavy gust.

I feel deflated. Hollow. Off balance.

In the car, I turn the volume up louder than normal in an effort to drown out my thoughts. To silence the voice in my head telling me I shouldn’t have left.

But this is the smarter choice. The safer one. I checked on Shea, she’s fine?—

No. Notfine.

But she’s not my girlfriend anymore. Until the other day, we hadn’t spoken in years.

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