Page 58 of Her Fearless Ronin

I lay there, silently watching him, feeling a strange numbness inside me. My brother was dead… the only family I had left now resided in a care home with no real recollection of my existence. The weight of my loneliness settled over me like a heavy blanket, making it hard to breathe.

Jiro’s eyes fluttered open, and his dark orbs met mine. He didn’t speak right away, just stared at me, assessing, as if he could read the cause of my distress.

“Is it weird,” I finally found my voice, “that after all he did, after he sold me without a second thought, there’s a part of me that will miss him?”

Jiro’s gaze remained steady, his dark eyes locked onto mine. “No, it’s not weird at all. People are complicated, Hope. There was a time when Leo wasn’t the person who betrayed you. That part of him, the one you loved, it’s natural to grieve for that too.”

I sighed, my breath trembling as I tried to sort through my emotions. Turning onto my back, I stared at the moldings on the hotel room’s ceiling.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Jiro said gently.

I nodded, my response muted. “Will he… resurface?” I asked hesitantly.

Jiro lay on his back beside me. “No.” And for once, I was grateful he didn’t expand on this. He sighed. “And I know I don’t really need to say it, but you can never tell anyone what happened. Because, Hope, I will not be able toprotect you if you do.”

Because you won’t be there anymore.

“Don’t worry about me, Jiro Saito. I’ll live my life on the straight and narrow. You can leave with peace of mind.”

I heard his head turn on the pillow, and I could feel his eyes on the side of my face, but I kept looking at the ceiling as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. I didn’t want him to see the turmoil and pain his departure was causing.

“Hope.” The softness of his voice stung a little; it felt a lot like pity to me.

“How do you feel knowing you weren’t to blame for Anna’s death?” I asked, desperately switching the focus from me to him. “That must be a relief.”

Jiro didn’t respond immediately, and I turned my head toward him. He was facing me, but his eyes were locked on some distant point only he could see.

After a pause, he finally spoke, his voice deeper. “It is a relief. But it’s also surreal. After carrying that guilt for so long, it almost feels like I’ve lost a part of myself.”

I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sympathy. “You’ve carried that responsibility for too long, Jiro. It was a burden that you should never have borne.” I forced a little smile. “Now you can finally let it go and leave all this behind.” Leavemebehind.

His eyebrows dipped, his gaze searching mine. “I think we need to discuss this. You’re alone here now, and I want—”

I didn’t want his pity, not when what I truly craved was his love and commitment. “It’s quite freeing, yes, I agree. NowI can do whatever I want. It’s so liberating,” I said, with a voice as light as I could muster to mask the pain in my heart.

There was a flicker of something akin to frustration and longing in his eyes, but he didn’t say more. Instead, he stood up and motioned toward the en suite bathroom. “There are clean clothes in there. Once you’re ready, come out to the main room. Hoka and Violet are waiting.”

As he left the room, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of uncertainty settling in. Had I just made a mistake?

I waited until I heard the bedroom door close behind him, then slowly rose from the bed. His words echoed in my mind, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had pushed him away when all I truly wanted was to be closer to him.

I moved to the en suite and turned on the shower, letting the hot water wash over me. It was a blissful sensation, and for a moment, I allowed myself to simply bask in it. But as the water cascaded down my body, I couldn’t escape the thoughts that flooded my mind.

Leo is dead.My only family had betrayed me. Sold me without a second thought. Realizing the extent of my loneliness, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I pressed my forehead against the shower tiles. Silent tears mixed with the water, unnoticed and unseen.

I stayed in the shower longer than necessary, the heat soothing both my body and my troubled thoughts. A part of me had hoped that Jiro would join me like he had done before, wrap his arms around me, kiss the back of my neck, and make all the promises and love declarations I was longing to hear. But that was a distant memory, a foolishdream, a chapter in our lives that had come to a painful close.

“Fool,” I muttered as I turned off the water.

I quickly dried off and dressed in the clothes I assumed were Violet’s. The flowy royal-blue midi skirt and cream satin shirt were likely the nicest, most luxurious items I had ever worn, and I marveled at how they seemed to transform me into someone different.

I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection as if trying to recognize the woman looking back at me. I took a few deep breaths, steeling myself for what lay ahead. I had faced countless failures, heartbreaks, and disappointments in my life, and this would be no different. I would fake it until I made it, as I always did.

Did you really?

Pushing my doubts aside, I opened the bedroom door and stepped into the main room. Hoka was leaning over Violet, who cradled their son. Despite his fearsome appearance, his eyes held a tenderness I’d never seen before.

“Oh, sorry!” I stammered, stepping back quickly into the room, my heart aching with a surprising pang of longing.

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