Page 49 of Her Fearless Ronin

I nodded, my own gaze lingering on the spot where the car had vanished. “Yeah, she’s something else.”

Hoka turned to me with a knowing smile. “You’re in deeper than you want to admit, aren’t you?”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “You have no idea. But between her and me, it’s just not feasible.”

Hoka’s shrug was casual, his attention shifting to his son Yuko, who was nestled comfortably against his chest. “He’s living proof that it’s possible.”

I shook my head; I was not in the right headspace to have this conversation now. “Let’s walk.”

So we continued, the sound of our footsteps mingling with the faint whispers of the sea. Despite this serene atmosphere, I could not stop thinking of a subject that was haunting me far more than I initially anticipated—Hoka’s recent trip to Japan. It was crucial to clear the air before Valdez’s meeting; I couldn’t afford distractions.

“Sometimesthe past is just too heavy to build a future,” I began, the words reflective of my inner turmoil.

Hoka’s expression turned contemplative for a moment before he shook his head, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “Two years ago, I might have agreed with you. But not now. If intentions are pure and both parties are committed, a lot can be overcome. Look at what Violet and I managed to conquer.”

The question I had been suppressing pushed its way out. “And what about us? Have we truly moved past our issues?”

Hoka’s pace slowed as he frowned at me. “Of course. You know we have.”

Have we?I thought a little bitterly. Taking a deep breath, I decided it was time to address the unease. “I thought you trusted me, even after I stepped down from being yourwakagashira.”

Hoka stopped in his tracks, pivoting to face me squarely. “Spit it out, Jiro, because you’re not making much sense.”

“Were you ever going to tell me about your trip to Japan with Alessandro?”

Hoka nodded, resuming our walk toward the pier’s end, his pace unhurried. “Ah.”

“Ah? That’s all you’ll say.”

He chuckled softly. “I do have more to say. Oda is a little bitch for gossiping like a teenager, but I was going to tell you. I was!” he insisted when I threw him a suspicious look. “I wanted to avoid getting either of our hopes up.”

“Hopes for what?” My frown deepened as genuine confusion clouded my expression.

Hoka halted just as we reached the pier’s end, his gaze focused on the tranquil expanse of Elliott Bay. The waters seemed calm, like our conversation, as if it were a prelude to the storm that may come. Yuko’s infectious giggles punctuated the air as he playfully reached out toward the swooping seagulls.

“I miss you, Jiro. Deeply. Life, the business…” Hoka’s voice trailed off, a sigh underscoring his words. “You’ve been gone for nearly two years, and nothing feels quite the same without you.”

My gaze shifted downward, focusing on the gray, weathered stones beneath my feet. Guilt and ghosts of my past mistakes pressed upon me, their presence a heavy weight. I had sacrificed myself to safeguard our clan from a brewing war, one that threatened to shatter Hoka’s newfound family. Yet, in the recesses of my mind, I couldn’t escape the realization that they wouldn’t have been in this predicament in the first place if I hadn’t intervened in Hoka’s relationship with Violet.

“The dealings with the Italians are flourishing, to say the least. Our business in multiple regions has grown by almost forty percent,” Hoka continued, his gaze holding mine. “The elders are overjoyed.”

“Okay?” My confusion lingered, his words a puzzle I was struggling to decipher.

A sidelong smile played on his lips, acknowledging the evident perplexity in my voice. “It means the elders are feeling rather benevolent. In fact, Sandro and I shared with them the truth about what happened in the warehouse the day my uncle died.”

“You didn’t!” I exclaimed, a huff escaping me. Such a revelation could have easily turned disastrous. Alessandro, Violet’s mobster brother, had executed Hoka’s uncle to shield Violet. It was a reckless act, given Violet wasn’t yet bound to Hoka. Such audacity, taking down a yakuza elite like that, could have started an all-out war. But I had stepped in, shouldering the blame. It was the least I could do after all the chaos I’d inadvertently caused between Hoka and Violet. They deserved peace, even if it meant I lost my position, my identity, in the process.

Hoka’s smirk deepened. “Oh, I did,” he affirmed, his eyes locked with mine. “Now, the question is—will you reclaim your position as mywakagashira? Return to the world we once ruled side by side?” The invitation, laden with past memories and a potential future, hung thick in the air between us.

For a few heartbeats, I stood frozen. I had been convinced that this future was an impossibility. I had been exiled, and despite the past two years teaching me to savor the taste of freedom, the recent weeks had reshaped me. Despite my ongoing self-inflicted torment over not fitting into Hope’s life, I couldn’t deny the allure of the prospect. A life entwined with hers danced before my mind, a vision I found both exhilarating and terrifying.

“Okay… that’s not quite the reaction I anticipated,” Hoka interjected, a perplexed furrow creasing his brows. His demeanor seemed slightly irked. “I thought you’d be eager to return.”

“No, wait, yes, I am.” My response was a tangled admission, a candid reflection of my own inner turmoil. “It’s just that… this is so unexpected, and given everything—”

Hokaraised his eyebrows knowingly. “Ah,” he nodded in understanding. “Everything. Well, remember, nothing prevents you from taking ‘everything’ along with you. The summer house is yours, spacious enough for a family if that’s what you’re considering.”

A family with Hope… My gaze shifted involuntarily toward Yuko. The image unfolded vividly in my mind—a life where Hope and I were together, the two of us creating a baby of our own. Yet, amid that enticing vision, a fierce internal struggle raged. I had fought so ardently to free Hope from the burdens she had long carried, to liberate her from the weight of her past. Was it not hypocrisy to then potentially shackle her to a different kind of confinement, to deny her the chance to savor genuine freedom?