Page 43 of Her Fearless Ronin

“Warm goat cheese salad,” he translated with a smile. “Is that a problem?”

I chuckled, shaking my head. “Oh no! I love cheese.” I picked up my cutlery. “I can’t wait to try this.”

Jiro noticed, and his brows furrowed slightly. “Why the sigh?”

I hesitated, my gaze dropping to my plate momentarily before I looked back at him. “I know I’ve been trying to keep the mood light tonight, and I want to, I really do. But there are things we can’t avoid forever.”

He nodded, his expression serious now. “I know.”

I toyed with the greens on my plate, gathering my thoughts. “Maybe we should just let it go, you know. My brother is obviously alive, and if he doesn’t care about his family, then why should I?”

He regarded me quietly for a moment before speaking. “Because you’re not like that, Hope. You care deeply about everything and everyone. And if, by a sinister turn of events, he ends up dead because we didn’t do anything, you would feel guilty. I can’t stand the thought of you feeling the kind of guilt that’s been haunting me for years.”

His words touched a raw nerve, the truth behind them cutting deep. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of bitterness. Jiro could never be mine; this pseudo-relationship could never be real until he stopped carrying Anna’s death on his shoulders like that.

I nodded, my fingers tracing the rim of my wineglass.

“Hope, look at me.”

Ilooked up and met his troubled eyes.

“It’s not that simple anyway. It’s not about your brother’s potential fate. I won’t lie; I don’t care if Leo lives or dies. It’s all about protecting you.”

My heart clenched at his words. “Protecting me from what?”

He hesitated for a moment, his jaw tensing. “From Leo. From Valdez. I fear that your brother might do something else, something that could turn you into collateral, and that’s something I can’t stomach.”

A shiver ran down my spine, the reality of his words sinking in. I understood the gravity of the situation, the danger that lingered around us. But at the same time, I couldn’t shake the feeling that his need to protect me would always be a barrier between us.

He reached across the table, his hand gently covering mine. “I’ve called Hoka. He’ll come here to help when Valdez makes contact. We’ll make sure you’re safe before I leave.”

I managed a weak smile, trying to hide the pain my realization caused. My fingers trembled slightly beneath his touch. “Thank you. But what about you? Do you miss your friend, your life from before all of this?”

His gaze turned distant for a moment as if he was reminiscing. “Hoka was more than a boss to me. He’s my best friend, my brother. And being an executioner is all I’ve ever known, so it’s difficult to find my place once more.” He looked back at me, his eyes burning with intensity. “Once all of this is over, once you’re safe, I’ll… I’ll leave.I’ll continue to atone for my sins and try to find where I belong.”

His words struck me like a blow, the realization that he would leave, that he saw himself as unworthy of anything beyond atonement. I fought to keep my voice steady, my emotions hidden. “And what about…?” I stopped talking, shaking my head.

He reached out, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “What about what?”

Tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill over. I took a deep breath, my voice shaking only slightly. “Nothing, let’s eat.”

The atmosphere at the table had shifted, the lightness and flirtation we had shared earlier replaced by a palpable tension that neither of us could ignore. I picked at my dessert, each bite of the beautifully presented dish tasting like a bittersweet reminder of the evening’s unraveling.

Jiro’s concern, as always, was evident in the furrow of his brow and the softness of his voice. “Is everything alright?”

I managed a nod, though the smile I forced felt fragile, almost like it could shatter at any moment. “Yes, this meal was delicious. Thank you so much for this amazing evening.”

His frown deepened, and I could sense his unease. “I thought that maybe we could continue our evening after dinner.” His hand moved to rub at his neck, a gesture that revealed his nervousness.

I understood his implication, the desire in his eyes mirroring my own. More than anything, I wanted to letthe evening continue in the direction it had started, to lose myself in his arms and the pleasure he was bound to give me. But the reality of our situation was a heavy weight on my heart. I couldn’t ignore the fact that we were nearing a goodbye, and I didn’t know if my heart could handle getting lost in him more than I already was.

Shaking my head, my gaze locked with his, my voice coming out softer than I intended. “No, I’m sorry. I need to get home. My mom.”

He nodded, a small smile playing on his lips, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course. Your mother comes first.”

My heart ached at the finality of his words, the unspoken understanding that our time was running out. I managed a nod, my fingers gripping the edge of the tablecloth as if trying to hold on to something that was slipping away.

The drive back to my place was a quiet one, the air inside the car heavy with unspoken words and the weight of what our evening should have been. My gaze drifted out the window, the passing lights creating a blur of colors that matched the blur of my thoughts. I stole glances at Jiro from time to time, his profile illuminated by the soft glow of the dashboard lights, his expression something I couldn’t quite decipher.

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