She forces a little smile, then takes a sip of her own and relaxes, leaning just a little to the left so she’s touching my arm. “Are you two working today?”
“Unless the Provost calls, we’re staying here.” The warmth coming from her has me leaning in more. “Kind of hoping he doesn’t.”
Manson is grinning into his mug like me admitting that is some kind of win, and as much as I don’t understand how, I don’t push him to explain. “Me too,” he agrees. “I want today to be about us and what we can be if we’re all being good to each other.”
Leave it to him to lay it out there straight.
“Can we go outside?” she asks quietly. “We can wait until tonight if you want, and you can cuff me again. I just... really want to see the sky again.”
Manson and I share a look that shows equal parts understanding and fear, but I know this is step one in learning to trust each other. Fuck.
“I think we can do that,” Manson mutters, still holding my gaze. “Right?”
Well now it’s all on me, and since I’m trying hard not to be the same asshole I have been, I nod.
I fucking nod.
I take a long sip of my coffee to keep myself from taking it back, and I hate myself a little more for being happy I stole all of her money. She couldn’t run away if she tried. Damn... I’m a real asshole that doesn’t deserve an ounce of kindness from either of them, but here we are.
“Thank you.” Her voice is soft, and she’s looking at me. Not Manson. “We can stay in the backyard since it’s fenced in.”
I feel my whole body relax so suddenly I know she feels it too. How did I get here? I went from hating when she’s around to caging her in my house with no intentions of letting her free,and the thought of her escaping gives me more anxiety than a job where I sometimes have to kill people. I don’t know what broke inside of me the moment I saw my father’s body, but it obviously isn’t fixable.
“Maybe we can make a little hangout area out back so she can see the stars every night?”
He’s pushing it, but to my surprise I don’t have any objections. “Yeah, maybe. So you don’t plan on hopping the fence to run?”
I have to ask, even though neither of them seem very happy about it.
“And go where?” she asks, a little roughly. “I told you, you can cuff me to your giant body when we’re outside if you want. That means if I try to hop the fence, I have to take you with me. I’m just asking for a little fresh air, Ash.”
“Alright,” I relent. “I’m sorry. It was a dumb question.”
One I didn’t mean to fuck up the mood, but I realize quickly that might have been the first time I’ve ever apologized to her about anything real while she was awake. I brace myself for her to laugh, to use it against me, for any reaction at all that’ll make me want to take all of this back — but she leans in and kisses my cheek instead. “It was a dumb question, but that’s okay.”
Well that felt good.
“I only brought it up because I didn’t plan on using the cuffs.”
Kiss me again, Rhea.
“Really?” Her eyes light up as she squirms, pivoting to face me better. “Why not?"
“We all want something more right?” Both of them nod a little too excitedly. “That takes trust. You didn’t shoot me when you had the chance.”
I stop there because I really don’t know what to say, though it seems to be enough. Rhea launches herself at me and wraps her arms around my neck, knocking me back against the headboard.It’s not a kiss, but her arms around me feel just as fucking good. Manson strips the mug from my hands so I can hug her back, and I swear I melt there for a little while.
Eventually, she pulls back just enough to meet my eyes. “How soon until breakfast comes?”
I’m staring at her mouth, but I hold myself back because when I kiss this woman, there won’t be any doubts that she’s mine. She won’t even want to escape me. “Probably like five minutes, maybe?”
As if on cue, someone knocks on our door, so Manson climbs off the bed to go get it. Rhea stays right where she is, watching me. “Do you think we can do this?”
I don’t want to lie to her nor dull the mood by saying nothing I’ve ever wanted has worked out, so I give her the best answer I can. “I think we can if we all continue to work on it every day.” Me, especially. “If relationships were easy, there’d be no music or poems, right?
She bites her bottom lip like she has follow up questions, but Manson pops his head back in to tell us breakfast is on the table.
Rhea’s off my bed and out the door before I can blink.