Page 69 of Sorrow

He tilts his head as he reaches for the door handle, seeing right through me.

We promised we’d never lie.

“Yeah, I am. I just needed a second, okay? This is... confusing for me.”

Nodding, Hayes opens the door to leave, but before he does he grabs the back of my neck and pulls me in for one chaste kiss. “Take your second.”

And then he’s gone, taking all the air in the room with him. The one time I need him to push me, he doesn’t — but that’s fine. I can figure this out on my own.

As I catch a glimpse of my reflection though, I barely recognize myself. My cheeks are fuller, more colorful. My jawline is softer. My eyes look clearer than they have in years. Even my hair looks healthier. Maybe it’s thecleaner water or the food, maybe it’s something else.

Like Hayes.

This can’t be happening to me.

Flipping off the dumb bitch in the mirror, I make my way back out to the couch with more confidence than I really feel. It seems easy to curl up against him this time, easy to let my face nuzzle into his chest so his smell can surround me in a way I don’t want to admit I crave.

When he grips my shoulder like he’s not going to let me go again, I forget my brother’s in the room with us at all. Real or fake, this might be the closest thing I’ve ever felt to true intimacy.

The beat of his heart begins to slow the longer we stay there, bringing us both to a level of comfort I don’t think we’ve ever felt. It’s just easy like this.

It feels right.

“Oh my god, you two really are in love,” Boo jokes. “Sorry for doubting you.”

“Shut up,” Hayes grumbles, but he pulls me even closer like he thinks I might run away again. “Worry about your own love life.”

“That’s not funny,” he mumbles. “I’m prettysure she really is feeding them information.”

“Think they know how small your dick is?” Hayes teases, but after the words leave his lips, I know he immediately regrets them. “Shit, I shouldn’t be joking about those assholes. My bad.”

Boo shakes his head and gets up, waving us off as he disappears to his room. I can feel the irritation radiating off of him right up until his door shuts, and even then, the air still feels charged.

“Will this shit ever be over?” I ask quietly.

He’s still frowning at where my brother disappeared when he nods. “It has to. One way or another we’ll figure this shit out.”

They keep saying that, yet we seem no closer to a resolution since Boo won’t turn over the evidence he already has.

I just hope we’re all alive at the end of it.

29

Hayes

I can feel her anxiety any time I’m not distracting her in some way, and it heightens mine in turn. It’s something we’ve both dealt with our entire lives, something I’ve related to her about even though I try to play it off. But what we’re doing here helps. Maybe it’s the dominance that keeps my mind level and the submission for her, but either way, we’re both more at peace when she’s on her knees.

My jaw clenches and my fingers tap the chair as I watch her pace the kitchen. Ineedher. It bubbles over until I can’t take it anymore. “Strip off your clothes and crawl to me, Samara.”

Her shoulders slump slightly in relief like she’s desperate for me too. Every movement is quick, jerky, and completely without finesse as she bares herself for me and drops to her knees, but I see the change in her eyesas she crawls. The way she looks at me with reverence, with respect.

I feel the tug of my lips even though I had no intent to smile, it’s just impossible to fight it when she looks like this. “Good girl,” I praise, committing her beautiful expression to memory so I can call on it later. She looks like nothing bad will ever touch her, and somehow it makes me believe the same. Here and now, there are no Sons stalking us like prey. There isn’t an outside world at all, there’s only us. “Are you ready to make art with me again?”

I’ve left her alone for a few days to heal, but my new blade set is calling to me.

I can’t wait to show them to her.

“That depends,” she teases, settling between my legs. “Will you leave one that scars this time? The others are gone.”

---