Page 39 of Sorrow

Frowning, I pull my hand back with a sigh. “You gonna tell me you’re not going to touch yourself once he falls asleep?”

Her hands ball into tight fists as she sits back on her knees. “I don’t know. Usually, I have a reason for doing it, y’know? Someonelooks at me a certain way, I overhear something, or I’m fantasizing about what the first time is going to be like. I can’t imagine I’ll have much motivation with him.”

“Probably not,” I agree, sucking my fingers clean before I get out of the bed and move toward the bathroom to wash up, but everything about this feels wrong. I’m not going to spend this time treating her how some other man might. That’s not me. “Fuck it.”

Spinning back around, I grip her shoulders and slam her back on the bed, dropping down to my knees so I can eat her whether she wants me to or not. I just don’t make it very far. Her fucking brother knocks just as I get her panties off.

“You two up yet? Come eat some breakfast before I head out. Food will be here any minute.”

I’m tempted to kill him.

From the looks of it, she is too. She’s staring at the door the way she usually stares at me — narrowed, fiery eyes and downturned lips.

To my surprise, she grabs my head and guides me back down, my tongue swiping up her center as we listen to Boo’s footstepsretreat. “Keep it down, Hurricane. Put that pillow over your face.”

Immediately I dive in, and she’s so wet my face is soaked in seconds. She moans into the pillow, squeezing my head with her thighs, and for a little while I pretend this is more than it is. I’m just a man needing to please his woman, and she’s just a woman who’s desperate for me. No one else.

She tastes so fucking good I feel myself start to harden the longer I feast, but as much as I want to fuck her, it isn’t time yet.

Unfortunately I won’t be able to hold onto this much longer. Our time is almost up... and I don’t mean for the morning.

I let her go once she gives me what I want and we hear the food arrive, but breakfast is awkward. I can tell she’s shutting down. and like always, I don’t know how to navigate this. I have a feeling I’m doing it all wrong, but I’m in far too deep to turn back now. I guess we’ll just have to see how it plays out. Hopefully it doesn’t end with me in prison for murder or worse — in a body bag if Boo finds out.

17

If I don’t get out of this house, I’m gonna lose my mind. My shoulder hurts, my ass aches, and all I want to do is crawl into the lap of the man I hate the most.

This isnotgood.

It feels like he’s rewriting my brain chemistry. Not so long ago, my immediate reactions to seeing him were disgust, anger, and dread. Now, I get butterflies and care about what my hair looks like. The dread and anger and disgust still follow, but it’s undeniable that something is changing.

I fucking hate it.

Getting dressed, I grab the $250 Hayes gave me for last night and lace up my boots. I may not be able to do much, but I can put some of this money to good use.

“I’m going into town,” I call from the hallway. “Are either of you behind my truck?”

“I am.” Of fucking course he is. “What are you going into town for?”

“Damn, Hayes. You sound like you’re her man or something,” my brother interjects. “I’m allowed to ask her that, not you. What are you going into town for?”

Hayes shoves Boo a little roughly, but they’re both smiling. “You’re not her man, either.”

“No, I’m her brother. That trumps your love/hate relationship with each other.”

Well, he’s got it half right.

“Whatever. I’ll take you into town.” Hayes grabs his keys off the countertop, saving me from having to tell my only sibling that I’m shopping for lingerie.

The problem is, I don’t want Hayes going either. “You could just move your truck and I can take myself.”

“Or I can just take you. I have something to drop off in town anyway, Samuel.”

How long has it been since he called me that?

Not long enough.

Rolling my eyes, I plaster on a fake smile and walk right past him out into the cold.The second the door opens, my face hurts from the wind. You’d think I’d be used to it by now.

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