Page 30 of Rectify

“I didn’t say that right. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. But the way I ended things between us was wrong. I left you a message because I couldn’t risk breaking down and telling you everything. But there was one good thing to come out of all this, and I wouldn’t wish him out of my life for anything.”

Understanding dawned on his face. “Mateo.”

“Yes. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me, Aedan. He’s smart, cute, and funny. And I love him so much. I can’t evenexplain it. If something has happened to him . . . ” she sobbed. “Querido Dios, I feel like I’m losing it.”

The bed dipped as he sat beside her. He placed an arm around her shoulders and tugged her close.

“You’re not losing it. You’ve just pushed your body as far as it can go. Everyone has their limit, Natalya. Even someone as strong as you.”

“I don’t feel strong. I feel weak and useless.”

“Well, I don’t think you’re either of those things. You don’t give up. It must have been hard as hell to come here and ask me for help, and yet you did it.”

“I’m a failure,” she admitted, resting her face against his chest as she whimpered. She breathed in his scent, trying to settle. She’d dreamed so many times of having him touch her like this once again.

He placed his hand under her chin and tipped her face up so she had to look at him. His features were blurry through the shield of tears covering her eyes.

“How are you a failure?” he asked.

“I failed to keep Mateo safe. It was up to me to protect him, and I let him down.”

“Natalya, there’s no way you could have known what would happen. No one could have anticipated that.”

“But I should have been the one to pick him up. If I’d been there . . . ”

“Then the same thing probably would have happened. Or you might have been taken as well.”

“But he must be so scared. He must be wondering where I am and why I’m not coming for him. I can’t stand it. That’s why I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see him calling for me, wanting me, crying. Aedan, I . . . ”

“Shh, Lovely. Shh.”

Aedan pulledNatalya close as she cried. His guts churned at the sound of her sobbing. He couldn’t even come close to imagining how terrified she must be. No matter what had happened before, he could do nothing else but be there for her now.

“Come on, you’re going to make yourself sick,” he told her as she hiccupped. “Calm down, now. Shh, shh.” He pulled her onto his lap and rocked her like a baby. “Good girl. Shh, now.”

She calmed down, sniffling every once in a while. He sat there and held her until she fell asleep against him. It probably wasn’t the brightest idea he’d ever had.

But staying mad at her took energy he didn’t have. Plus, he felt like an asshole, kicking her when she was down. His body tightened at the feel of her against him, raging arousal coursing through his blood. They’d never return to what they once had, but maybe there was a way for him to work through his need for her. A way to finally get her out of his system for good.

5

Natalya woke slowly, looking around in confusion. The last thing she remembered was crying in Aedan’s arms. She turned her head to find Aedan lying beside her, one arm tucked up beneath his head.

She studied him closely, taking in all the changes that three years had wrought. They’d both changed over that time; she was no longer the naive woman who thought she could take on anything and triumph, who thought she knew it all, and who believed that there was only right and wrong.

And Aedan? Well, he was still captivating. Compelling. Sexier than sin. But with an edge to him.

“You should go back to sleep. You’ve only had a few hours,” he told her gruffly, turning to face her.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” she apologized.

“You didn’t. I was just thinking.”

“You always snore while you think?” she teased.

He grinned. “Helps get the air flowing up to my brain. You feel any better?”

“I think I almost feel worse.” It felt like a tight vice was squeezing her head, and her whole body felt heavy and leaden. But at least the nausea was gone.

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