Page 63 of Rectify

“We’ve both made a muck of things, haven’t we? You forgave me for fucking up,” she said.

Aedan cupped her face in his hands. “This isn’t about things being even. It’s about me learning what the two of you need and doing everything in my power to provide it.”

“It goes both ways, Aedan. I need to give you what you need, and I’m not sure I have that in me right now. I mean, look at me. I don’t exactly have my shit together.”

He grinned. “Hey, if people only ever went into a relationship when they had their shit together, then the world would be a far less populated place.”

“I suppose so.” She leaned her head against this chest. “But Ireallydon’t have things together. I haven’t left the apartment since we moved in here. I’m so scared.”

She peered up at him. “I hate how I feel, but I’m terrified of someone taking Mateo from me. I know it’s not fair to Mateo. He doesn’t understand. He wants to go outside, play at the park, and I’m keeping him locked inside. I spook at any little noise. I try not to let him see my fear, but I know he must sense it. I don’t want to raise him to be afraid, but I don’t know how to get over this.”

“Oh, Lovely.” Christ, how could he have let things get this bad? Rogan should have told him. Aedan ran his hand up and down her shaking back. He pulled her toward him, staring down into her haunted gaze. “We’re going to sort this out. I promise.”

“How?”

“First thing we need to do is find you a counselor. You need to speak to someone. Perhaps Mateo should see someone too who specializes in young children. Someone who has experience with these sorts of situations.”

“Rogan already found one for me, but I refused to go. I don’t know if I can talk to a stranger.”

“I’d like you to try,” he told her firmly. “You never know until you try, and I don’t like that you’re living in fear.”

Natalya sighed and nodded. “I suppose you’re right. I need to try.”

“Also, I think you should move in with me.”

She stiffened in his arms.

“Not as lovers, but as friends. We went through things backward. We need some time to get to know each other again. Iwant to get to know you, Natalya. I want to know Mateo. Plus, I think you could use a friend right now.”

She bit her lip.

“And so could I,” he added.

“You?” she said with surprise. “But everyone likes you.”

“I don’t have a lot of genuine friends. Most people see me as a fun-loving playboy. Only those really close to me see the real me. Move in with me. I have a high-tech security system, a security guard, and a large fenced yard that Mateo can play in.” Not that he wanted to give her a bigger place to hide out from the world, but he wanted her close, where he could keep an eye on her and Mateo.

“I need to talk to Mateo first. Maybe he could get to know you a bit better before I make that decision?”

“Whatever you think is best. You’re the expert. I know nothing about children.” He would need to learn quick, though. Winning Mateo over was an integral part of his plan to make them a family. If there was one thing that had become crystal clear while he’d been apart from Natalya, it was the fact that he loved her.

“Nobody does when they first have a child. It’s trial by fire. You’re handed this tiny baby and just expected to know what to do with them.”

That sounded absolutely terrifying.

And she hadn’t had any help. His heart hurt for her.

“Listen, why don’t you go take a long shower and relax for a bit?” he suggested. He wanted to help her relax. “I’ll listen for Mateo.”

She bit her lip. “I don’t know. He could have a nightmare.”

“Does he have them a lot?” Poor kid. Who could blame him?

“Yes, but usually at night. And he doesn’t have as many as he did in the beginning.”

But he bet they were terrifying. No wonder Natalya looked as though she hadn’t slept well in weeks.

“Go on,” he urged. “If I hear him, I’ll come running to get you.”

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