Page 48 of Rectify

He helped her stand and pull off her pants.

“You always had one foot out the door, Natalya. You just seemed to be waiting for me to take off and abandon you.”

“That’s not true,” she protested. But maybe it was. She thought about it for a long moment. Had she been waiting for him to leave her the entire time they’d been together?

“Well, I didn’t do it consciously.”

He smiled gently at her as he pulled back the bed’s covers. “No, maybe not consciously. I understand why. Everyone else in your life abandoned you at some time; it’s only to be expected that you’d let that color any relationship you had.”

“Mama never left me. Well, not on purpose.”

He raised his eyebrows as he pushed her into bed. “She worked long hours, though. Leaving you alone a lot.”

“Or with Río.”

“Someone else who abandoned you,” he pointed out.

“I get your point.” She sat on the bed and curled her legs against her chest, staring at him pensively. “I guess I wasn’t the easiest of girlfriends, huh? Judgmental, temperamental, emotionally stunted.”

“I wouldn’t say stunted, maybe backward.”

“Backward? That sounds worse!”

He grinned, and she rolled her eyes. “When I first met you, you seemed to think everything was a joke.”

“And you were way too serious, Lovely.”

“Guess we’ve both changed, huh?”

“Change isn’t always a bad thing, Natalya,” he told her gently, cupping her face. “Sometimes it can be very, very good.”

“Can you ever trust me again, Aedan? Or is this just sex?”

He was silent for a long moment.

“It’s not just about sex. We need to build some trust between us again. Now isn’t the time to make big decisions. But after this is over, you have to consider whether you can truly give me all of you. Because if you can’t, then all that will be between us is sex. And we’ll have to go our separate ways.”

She opened her mouth to reply, but he leaned over and kissed her. “I want you to think about it. Truly think about it because I will demand all of you. I don’t want to own or control you, but I do want all of you. Just like you’ll have all of me.” He pushed her gently so she lay on her back. Then he kissed his way down her body, undoing the front clasp of her bra and pushing the cups aside before swirling his tongue around each rosy-red nipple. “I’m not the same person I was. Neither are you. We need to get to know each other again, and these aren’t the best circumstances to do that in. If you decide you want to try thisagain, if you can give me everything I demand, then after this is over, we’ll talk again. I will not allow you to hold back, Natalya, and I will be damned if you try to protect me again. If you treat me as though I’m weak or useless, I will walk away without a backward glance.”

Is that what he thought? That she believed he was weak?

Natalya attempted to sit up, gripped by the need to make him understand. As soon as she moved, he drew back, staring at her sternly. “Did I say you could move?”

The dominance in his tone was like nothing she’d heard from him before. His voice was pure steel, the look on his face unbendable. Compelled by him, she found herself lying back and staring up at him in surprise.

“I need to know that you trust me to keep you safe, Natalya. That you need me for more than just sex and my bank account.”

She gasped, outraged. “I was never with you for your bank account! You had no money before.”

He grinned, showing his more carefree side. “Ahh, so you were with me for the sex?”

“Aedan! This is a horrible time for this conversation.”

“Actually, I think it’s perfect. I have you right where I want you. No more trying to do it all on your own. No more trying to protect me. It makes me feel like less of a man. It makes me feel like my love for you meant less than your feelings for me.”

“Oh, Aedan.” Damn, he sure knew how to make her feel like a complete ass.

“We’ve both changed.” He kissed the top of her mound. “We need to rediscover each other.” He fingered the top of her panties. “I think I should ban panties from your wardrobe. They’re constantly in my way.”

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