Page 36 of Rectify

“Yes. I knew she would help us. I know I should have taken us farther away, but I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t have the money to rent an apartment. And I didn’t want to leave Mateo with strangers while I worked. María worked at a day care center, so I put him in there when I got a job.”

“Doing what?”

“Waitressing. I took the first job I could find. It wasn’t ideal, but it paid the bills and put food on the table. Most of the time.”

Christ, he hated thinking about her having to live hand to mouth, working her guts out just so they could eat.

“Why didn’t you come to me?” he finally asked.

She sat back slightly, stiffening. “Because I didn’t think you’d care. Would you have answered my phone calls?”

Maybe not. He had wanted nothing to do with her. But would he have turned her away if she’d turned up on his doorstep with a child in tow?

“I’d have cared,” he told her. “I’ve never stopped caring about you, Natalya.”

“Aedan, I can’t do this anymore. Not right now.”

He pulled her tightly against him. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I just can’t stand the idea of you alone and needing me.”

“I had Mateo. He’s such a good boy. So kind and gentle. Oh, he’s no angel. Especially since we left Diego. I’m not sure if it’s his age or all the changes, but he’s definitely started playing up more now.”

“It was a huge change for him. That can be unsettling for a kid.”

“You were twelve when you moved to the States, weren’t you?” she asked.

“Yeah. And even though I was a lot older than Mateo, I didn’t handle leaving all my friends and grandfather very well.”

“I remember you talking about your grandfather. The two of you were close, weren’t you?”

He nodded.

“You didn’t make friends quickly?” she asked.

“No. I was different. That’s not always a good thing when you’re a kid. I had a weird accent, I was smaller than everyone else, and I had a bit of a smart mouth. I might as well have planted a sign on my back saying, ‘kick me.’ That’s why I worked so hard to get rid of my accent. I wanted to fit in. I wanted people to like me.”

He’d quickly learned that being different could make life unpleasant. So he’d concentrated on trying to sound and act like everyone else.

“You never told me this before,” she said.

“I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me. I always felt insecure as a child, like I wasn’t as good as everyone else. I wasn’t as tough as Rogan or as athletic as Lucas or as charming as Dylan. Did I ever tell you that I met Lucas at basketball camp?” He’d told her about Lucas and how he’d been shot. But he couldn’t remember if he’d told her about how he’d met the other boy.

“No. Really? You liked basketball?”

“I hated it, but for some reason, my parents decided I needed to meet other kids my age, so they forced me to go. I sucked, and the other kids hounded me. Lucas stood up for me. He was a year older, and he became my hero. When we got back from camp, even though we went to different schools, we stayed friends. He introduced me to Dylan.”

“What about Rogan? You’ve always been close to him.”

“He’s a couple of years older than me, so we weren’t at the same school when I first arrived. Once I moved into the same school as him, things became easier. No one wanted to mess with Rogan MacGuire’s cousin. But even though I’d found friends who accepted me, I still felt like I didn’t always fit in.”

“I think everyone feels like that at some stage.”

“I guess,” he agreed.

“Is that part of the reason you went into acting? I always knew you would do well.”

“I wanted to be popular. Kind of went to an extreme, didn’t I?” he joked. “The night Lucas died, my gut told me we shouldn’t go out. I ignored it because I wanted to fit in. I was worried that if I tried to stop Dylan and Lucas, they wouldn’t like me anymore, and they wouldn’t want to be friends. So I ignored my instincts, and Lucas died.”

“Oh, Aedan. His death wasn’t your fault.”

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