Page 99 of Rebellion

“Why, baby?”

“He had a video. Of Aleksandr shooting someone. Or I thought he did. Turns out it was fake, but I didn’t know that.”

“He blackmailed you?”

Suddenly, he stood and she squeaked without meaning to, taking a stumbling step back.

“Fuck. Shit. God. Baby, wait...” He reached a hand out to her before letting it drop. There was a look of horror on his face.

Why did he look so horrified? By her? Did he not want to touch her anymore?

She shuddered.

Dirty.

She was dirty. And worthless. Stupid.

And now he could see it. The one thing she hadn’t wanted was for him to see how worthless she was.

“I want you to get out.”

A pained look filled his face. “Baby.”

She shook her head. They both knew that she wasn’t his baby.

Because she was nothing.

“I want to get showered. Alone.”

“All right,” he said.

More proof that he now saw her for who she was. Before, he would have fought with her.

Actually, no, he would have just told her what was happening. Which wouldn’t involve him leaving.

But he’s going now because he knows.

When he was out in the bedroom, she shut the bathroom door, locking it. He knocked on the door, yelling her name.

She ignored him.

Right now, she needed to concentrate on shoring her defenses back up again.

Find the numb.

You’re an Anisimov.

You cannot fall apart.

Climbing into the shower, she turned the heat up as high as she dared, needing the scalding water to wash away this feeling of shame that was crawling all over her.

Grabbing the loofah that had already been in the shower, she scrubbed at her skin.

Clean.

She needed to get clean.

Oh, God.

---