Page 114 of Feels Like Home

“Fuck me. Is anyone not in onit?”

“Christine,” Lauren, who’s been oddly quiet, tellsme.

“Okay, we’re getting nowhere,” Tess, always the voice of reason, well, unless she’s calling me mean names, cuts in. “Andy. This is an intervention. Because you’re being a jackass of epicproportions.”

“Oh, so her dating me to get back at Heather isn’t her being a jackass of epicproportions?”

“Are you literally insane?Certifiable?”

I glare at Barrett, who has just poked his head in thedoorway.

“Get your ugly mugs in here rather than shouting down the entire office,” I grumble. Chairs scrape, and suddenly the three stooges are pushing chairs into my already small office, only made much smaller by the fact that I have six extra people staring medown.

All the husbands kiss their wives gently then turn cheeky smiles myway.

“Who’s the jackassnow?”

“Still you,” Carly singsongs.

James smirks at his wife then leans forward on his elbows, looking straight at me. “Andy. You’re one of my best friends. You know this. This past year with you helping me? Man, I couldn’t have done it without you. And I got a first row seat to the weird courting ritual that you two had going on. I watched as every time she came into a room your entire demeanor changed.” I open my mouth to interrupt him, but Tess throws a hand in front of my face, effectively telling me to shut up. He chuckles at her. They’re so much alike it’s freaky — and they’re not eventwins.

“As I was saying. I watched as every time you were around her you became calm. Relaxed. The same way that all of us” —he gestures around the room— “are when our husband or wife is around. And she was the same. When you were around her? Her entire face would light up. And no, jackass, it wasn’t because of some weird plan to make you fall in love with her. That happened on its own. Just like her falling in love with you happened on its own. Do you really, truly believe that it’s in Christine to act thatway?”

I think for a moment before blowing out a heavy breath. “It’s just… you have no idea what it’s like. To walk in and see your wife like that? That shit doesn’t just go away. And to find out that Christine knew allalong?”

“Andy,” Lauren says gently, “Is that really what you’re upset about? That she knew? You’ve said time and again that you already knew Heather had cheated long before you caughther.”

“I didbut…”

“But nothing, Andy,” Tessinterrupts.

“Stop being such a moron, open your damn eyes, and see what’s right in front of you!” Carly ends on ashout.

Everyone’s eyes widen at her use of words as she blushes slightly, biting her lip. James leans over, pulls her lip out of her teeth’s grasp with his thumb and murmurs something to her that causes her to blush evendeeper.

“Sorry. Got a little carried away there. But you’ve gotta know, she’s not thatway.”

“And how do I know that, huh? Heather once promised in front of three hundred of our closest friends and family and God that she’d be faithful to me for the rest of our lives. I believed her. Why wouldn’t I? What if Christine is just a really good actress? I mean — she fooled all of you all these years into believing that Todd was a stand-upguy.”

Josh leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “I know you’re pissed. I get it. Really, I do. Clearly, even after that bitch is gone, she’s still trying to mess with your mind. But you need to dig real deep here, Andy. If you don’t forget the crap Heather was spewing and remember that she was only spewing that because she knows that it would mess with you and get in Christine’s head and spread around this town like wildfire, then maybe you don’t deserve Christine afterall.”

And on that, the six of them stand up and walk out thedoor.

Lauren walks over and gently lays her hand on my cheek then hauls back and slaps me. “Make smarter choices,” she says before walking out of my office, while I sit holding my stinging cheek and thinking on the words that are stinging myheart.

33

Andy

The boys areattheir friend Simon’s house for the night. Something I’ve learned about having twins is that when and where one goes, often does the other. Well, at least with my boys. They have mutual friends, and in a lot of ways they’re identical. Obviously in looks, but in the things they like to do; their interests. But in a lot of ways they’re different. Opposites. And I think that’s part of the appeal when their friends invite them over. They both bring something different to thetable.

I’ve cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, basically power washed their bathroom, and now understand why moms consistently complain about the fact that boys have shit foraim.

I shower, make myself something to eat, turn on Netflix, get bored, turn it off. Or rather, struggle to avoid thinking of Christine. Something Ireallyhad to do whileshowering.

I tug on my hair, glad my hair has grown out and is now longer to pull on as I pace in my living room. I feel like a bull, waiting its turn in the chute to rip into some cowboy who thinks he can overcome thebeast.

The carpet under my feet getting more and more worn as I continue to walk the same path. Back and forth. Back andforth.

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