Page 112 of A Better Place

“Nicole,” my daughter says.

I doubt she thought twice about what name to call her. Mom would never have crossed her mind.

Nicole, however, flinches a bit but recovers quickly. “You’re… oh my gosh, Lily. You’re beautiful.”

“Thanks. I take after Aunt Tess and Dad.”

Nicole has the good grace to nod her head, hardly being able to deny what Lily just said.

“You do. But it’s more than that,” she says, still in awe. “You should model.” And there it is, the exact reason why she wouldn’t want to get into modeling.

Lily doesn’t waver, just continues on as if Nic hadn’t even spoken words that she’s heard too many times to count. “Like I said, I take after Tess and Dad. What are you doing here?”

Nicole blows out a breath as if she’s getting ready to start the same speech she just gave me, but I interrupt her, not being willing to let her spew her bullshit onto my daughter. “Just leaving. She was just leaving.”

“No, I…”

“Was. Just. Leaving. We’re done here, Nicole. Leave. Just like I told you at the wedding. You aren’t welcome here, you understand me? Stay away from Lily. Stay away from Carly. Stay away from me.”

“Like I said, he’s right. You aren’t my parent. You’re nothing to me,” Lily says in a tone I’ve never heard before. It’s completely void of any emotion, as is her face.

“Lily,” I say and reach out to her, but she hastily pulls away from me.

“No, she’s not getting it,” Lily tells me then turns to Nicole. “We. Don’t. Want. You. Here. The best day of our lives was when you let your selfishness shine through and left us. So go back to whatever hole you crawled out of to come back here. And do us a favor. Crawl back into that hole and never come back.”

“Lily!” Nicole shouts in an admonished tone before she turns to me and points an accusatory finger in my direction. “Is this…”

“What? Is this how I raised her?”

“I didn’t mean…”

“Sure you did. See, I may not have been around you for most of my life,but I still remember you. I still know how you think. You were about to accuse my daughter of not being respectful. The thing is, the thing that you missed because you left is that I have never heard her speak to another human being like this. And no, the only thing I ever told her was that you left. The rest? She figured that out all on her own. Was that wrong?”

Lily moves over now, stands next to me and reaches for my hand with hers and gives it a light squeeze. I know my daughter. This act is done with deliberation. She wants me to see that she’s here with me. She wants Nicole to see that she and I are a team. She also isn’t done.

“And if I hear that you have contact with one of the best women I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, and quite frankly more of a mom to me in just a few short weeks than I felt from you in the entire twenty-two years of my life, you’ll see just how disrespectful I can be. At one time, I thought you had broken me. You made me think there was something wrong with me. I mean, what kind of mom leaves? It has to be because the kid is bad, right?” Lily demands, her voice rising, and the tears now streaming down her face. She angrily wipes at them, no doubt upset that she’s showing her emotions in front of Nicole.

“It wasn’t you, baby girl,” Nicole pleads.

“And how was I to know that? I was three years old! THREE!” Lily shouts as she points to herself. She throws an arm in my direction and glances my way. She straightens and takes a deep breath, swallowing the last of her tears. “Dad’s right. He taught me everything. He was there for everything. And when he couldn’t be there because it was too weird or whatever, Aunt Tess was there. You don’t get it. You left. You chose that.” She points at Nicole then spreads her arms out low beside her. “We didn’t. But maybe we should be thanking you. You leaving was the best thing ever. I may not have grown up with two parents, but I grew up with the best parent I could have ever asked for. Thanks, Mom,” she says the name like acid is on her tongue, “for teaching me what not to be as a mother. Thank you for teaching me what not to be like as a wife to someone. Thank you for that. Oh… and if it wasn’t me, it was Dad? This man? This incredible man who gave up all his dreams for me? Who put his life on hold for me?” she asks, pointing to me as if Nicole didn’t know who she was talking about.

“No,” Nicole says, shaking her head adamantly.

“Oh, it was just your boring life, then?”

“You don’t understand,” Nicole pleads.

“Well, that’s the only thing you’ve said tonight that I can agree with. I don’t understand. And no amount of explaining can make me understand. I think we’re done here,” Lily says, her voice a little wobbly but still sure.

“Lily,” Nicole says, reaching a hand out to her.

“No,” she says simply, pulling back so her mom can’t get close to her.

“You’re saying that’s it? You won’t even listen?”

“We listened. We also don’t care. We have a great life, and you aren’t a part of it.” My voice isn’t wobbly in the least.

Nicole’s face is one of pure shock, and I’m pretty sure the tears that have formed in her eyes are very real, but I still don’t waver, and neither does Lily.

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